On the Time of Day
by Captain Vox
Summary: The case had gone cold. The man that defiled and murdered Detective Ryan's sister would be left free and justice would go un-served...Esposito is there for Ryan when Jenny isn't. M for language and adult themes  later chapters .
1. A Picture and a Bullet

(Just realized, I mangled the re-post of this and posted Chapter Two as both One and Two. So, hopefully I didn't mess up anyone's reading, if so- here's the real Chapter One. Hope you enjoy, and I apologize.)

The case had gone cold. The man that defiled and murdered Detective Ryan's sister would be left free and justice would go un-served. Everyone had to admit, a lot of time and manpower had been put into the nearly year-long case and there just wasn't much more that could be dragged up. The evidence had been looked at and nothing new was found. Their leads had run up dry. Everyone was exhausted from the effort they'd put into chasing down a killer of cop-family. They all begrudgingly went along with the orders from Montgomery's boss to move onto cases that were more recent and had a chance of being solved if they had the proper attention.

Montgomery had walked out of his office one day and passed around folders of crimes having taken place early that week but lacking the presence of enough detectives. That was when the watching began. Everyone, Becket especially, knew what a cold case dealing with family members would do to a cop. They expected Detective Ryan to have a hard time dealing with this. Esposito most of all watched Ryan. His presence was warmly close and respectfully distant, a perfect mixture of comfort and breathing space.

Needless to say, everyone expected the office to be more than tense for at least the next few weeks. Even Castle stopped spewing his nonsensical madness and tried being more attuned to what Ryan might be feeling. Becket took control of the awkward quartet and plunged into their newest case with fervor the team hadn't seen before. Esposito was quiet, watchful and always there. Montgomery wasn't yelling so much. The others in the office spewed their clichéd words of regret and sadness to the blue eyed detective. Ryan- Kevin Ryan reacted in a way none of them had expected.

7:00 A.M. Tuesday- Case 4 days cold.

Detective Kevin Ryan lay on his back in bed, comforter draped mostly to the ground at the foot of his bed. He held a picture frame loosely in his hands at an awkward obtuse angle and uncomfortably tilted his head to stare at it. The simple black painted wooden frame encased a photo of a younger woman clad in jean shorts and a bikini top perched on the edge of a boat with Kevin sitting next to her in swim trunks that were bright yellow with orange tropical flowers. They were both smiling brightly.

But this was just another memory. It was one that would never be built upon, never be followed up; there would never be an attempt to recreate that weekend. His sister was dead and the man who'd killed her was out there living a life he didn't deserve. Dropping the picture on the side table by his bed, Kevin sat up and set a hand down on the alarm clock, hitting the off button before the clock could screech out its five minute snooze. Placing his bare feet into the warm carpet, Kevin sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his face with the butt of his palms. It was another day and some other family needed his help in getting the peace and finality that he was denied. He had to be strong for them, and for Esposito.

Getting out of the bed and heading for the bathroom he thought of his partner. The man was stressed and worried for Ryan's sake. It was flattering but Kevin didn't want him torn up over this. It wasn't in any way Esposito's fault and he certainly didn't want the man suffering on his behalf. That would break up Kevin even more. Turning on the water he watched it quickly get warm enough to spew steam in the porcelain bowl. Cupping his hands he collected the hot water and splashed it on his face. The sudden heat on his skin woke him up pretty effectively. Blinking some drops of steaming water from his face, Kevin grabbed a washcloth and his face wash and scrubbed himself cleanly ready for another day.

Standing a few minutes later in his kitchen, grabbing his badge and car keys Kevin looked at the bread box and toaster next to it but shook his head. Either Castle or Esposito would have brought in something to eat. That's what they did now. With a little smile he headed for the front door in time for his cell phone to go off from the kitchen table. "Shit…" he turned around and jogged to pick up the nearly forgotten item.  
"Detective Ryan," he answered without looking at the caller.

Javier Esposito's deep and smooth voice poured through the receiver. "Hey man, we've got a body. Neighborhood with the arson case last week."

Kevin let out a silent sigh and nodded despite knowing that Javier couldn't see it. "I'll meet you there." He hung up before his partner could start in on the 'how are yous'. Snatching an apple from the fruit basket he decided that would have to do for the morning and coffee be damned, he could function without it. He hoped.

Pulling into a parking space just outside of the yellow tape, Detective Ryan climbed out of his car and looked around for his partner. Javier was standing next to Kate and Richard, all three looking down at something- which was probably a some_one_. Walking over Kevin looked down at the body splayed on the driveway and gritted his teeth. Fuck.

The girl lay out before a house in a cookie cutter neighborhood, grass kept short and prim, fence painted a pristine white, and probably a little dog running around inside. Her blonde hair was tossed around her in perfect mounds, face pale and set in restful sleep, little sweater hugging her in a mother's grip. "She could be sleeping…"

The three glanced at Kevin after he spoke and nodded silently. "Her name is Tiffany Aleksaundra. She was identified by her parents. They said last they knew she was tucked into bed for the night then this morning she didn't get up for her morning classes and they found her in their driveway."

Ryan was sure that Becket was saying more but he was too intently staring down at the girl to actually hear any of the words. She had to be about his sister's age- or his sister's age a year ago. Life was never fair so it made sense this would be the case that his quartet stumbled upon. Pulling his little notebook from his back pocket he listened long enough to find something useful to do. "Esposito, you want to come help me take interviews?" he asked. Teaming up for the hard questioning was always easier than going it alone.

The brown eyed Hispanic nodded and tucked his hands into his front pockets as he followed after. "Yeah, sure. The beat cop that made it to the scene first took interviews from the parents but didn't go into much detail. We should probably start with them unless you wanted to leave that for Becket and Castle."

Kevin looked around the group gathered around the scene and noted a couple of teenage guys. "I think they might have something to say about this. They're trying real hard to get a look…" Swinging bright blue eyes towards his partner, Kevin waited for a confirmation.

Javier looked at the young group. "They could be friends of hers." One of the guys made a run to jump the tape only to be grabbed roughly around the waist by a cop. It took a couple of them to hold the boy back from the crime scene. "Or boyfriend. We should get over there and help out," he said jutting his chin towards the boys that were wavering at the tape, looking like they were about to jump it and help get their friend out of the cop's hands.

"Mm, agreed." Kevin walked beside Javier, noting the close and strong stance his partner kept when they walked together. There was warmth that washed off of Javier, a protectiveness that was really brought out these last few days and it truly was a comfort to Kevin.

"Hey," Esposito was in detective mode now and he stepped up next to the struggling teen and stared down his friends. The other three took a few steps back from the tape and Javier turned his attention on the could-be-boyfriend. Ryan walked over to the other three to get their story on all of this.

Kevin looked at the tallest of the three, he was standing without shrinking. "You know her?" he asked softly, glancing back to where Lani was crouched over the young woman. He caught a quick snatch of Javier dragging the other guy by the front of his shirt and pushing him to sit on the curb of the street to talk and calm down.

"Yeah we know Tiffany. Everyone at school knows her." It wasn't the tallest to speak up, it was the dark haired brooding one next to him. "Bryan and her just broke up two days ago." The brooder had looked over at the boy Javier was talking to when he mentioned "Bryan". "What happened to her?"

Looking at the one speaking, Kevin gave a light shrug. "We're not sure yet. You know anything that could help me figure that out?" he asked leaving the question open for now to see what the boys would say.

The interviewing seemed to drag. Each person that Kevin talked to expressed outwardly the grief that he was feeling within. His chest was taut and lungs heaving by the end of it all. Kevin was sitting in his car before leaving the crime scene staring down at the notes he'd written. It was messy, like his hand had been shaking the whole time he'd been writing. He figured that wasn't much of a leap to assume. Tossing the book to his passenger seat, Kevin drove back to the precinct where the team would regroup and share notes.

Pulling into the parking lot, Kevin watched Javier walk over to him and wait for him to climb from the car. Shutting the door, Kevin leaned against the cool siding of his car and looked at his partner knowing that he wanted to say something.

"You good?" Javier asked stepping up close to him and grabbing his shoulder in a tight but comforting gesture. The mixture of coffee and spearmint washed over Kevin's senses.

Kevin rolled his head around in what was supposed to be a nod but came out as some dance between yes and no. "I'll live. The interviews just took a while." Taking a moment to look down, close his eyes for two beats, he looked back up with a smile and bright eyes. "The leads seem like they're going to be solid though so we should get up there and follow this up." He reached out and clasped Esposito's upper arm, returning the reassuring touch.

Javier nodded his head upwards in a half-believing way and turned around to walk beside Kevin up to the office space. "A'ight, but if you need to talk about it, I'm here man."

"I know, thanks Javi." Kevin pulled open the door and the two headed in.

3:00 P.M. Thursday- Case 6 days cold

Kevin stood with his shoulder against the doorframe, gun in both hands and pointed down at the ground. He was staring Javier in the eyes and breathing in deep even breaths. Javier was poised two steps from the door, his own gun settled at the fading brass numbers on the motel's door. "Ready?" Kevin whispered pulling his hand from his gun and slowly wrapping long fingers around the door handle.

Javier nodded once and Kevin twisted the handle throwing the door open and letting his partner barge in first. Pulling up his gun, he aimed it around Javier who was yelling for whoever was inside to put their hands on their heads. Blue eyes were trained on a man in the far corner who had wild eyes and twitching jerky movements. Pulling his gun around, Kevin stepped further into the room and pointed his weapon at the man. "Hands on your damn head!" he yelled to the twitcher.

The man, clad in a dirty oil stained t-shirt pulled his hands up, a bottle in one and a gun in the other. "Drop it!" Kevin yelled and almost simultaneously fired off three precise rounds when he watched the man leveling the weapon off towards himself and Javier. The gun fell heavily to the floor, the man followed, and the ringing of a fired gun bled into Kevin's ears. "I got him," Kevin said to Javier and tucked his gun away. Moving over towards the fallen man he heard Javier gathering up the woman and younger man who were obediently kneeling on the ground, hands on their heads.

The man with the gun was lying, gasping up blood, between a bed and the wall. The gun was a few inches away and Kevin moved quickly to grab it. Tossing it on the bed, he looked at the gunshots in the man's torso. They were low in the abdomen so he might have a chance. Grabbing a small throw blanket from the end of the bed, he stuffed it to the man's bleeding wounds to try and stifle the blood flow. "Javi, call an ambulance."

"On it," the Hispanic's voice came from behind him followed by the crackle of a radio and the call out for a bus. "You all right Ryan?" he asked moving to stand beside him as a couple other officers moved into the room to take the two cuffed persons from the room.

"Yeah, I'm good." Kevin was busy looking down into the frightened face of the man he'd shot. This was the one they were after. This was the suspect who they very strongly figured at having killed Tiffany. The urge to lift that blanket from the man and walk away was strong but Kevin fought it, reminding himself that he was raised with morals.

A warm hand resting on his tense shoulder made the decision easier. Esposito was there to support Ryan and he was making the correct choice in trying to save this dirtbag. He let his shoulder visually relax under the touch but tensed up quickly when the man started coughing in a rough fit. He pressed down a little harder and looked up at Javier with furrowed eyebrows and a twisted frown.

"Here, let me help," Javier said bending down and applying pressure to the man's abdomen. "Listen to me." The detective was now focused on the bleeding man. "Take slower breaths, work on slowing your heart rate and you'll slow the bleeding."

Kevin backed up far enough to lean against the far wall and watch what was going on around him. The sound of an ambulance siren sounded from down the road a ways. There was blood on Kevin's hands and up his arms a bit. He was beginning to shake a little and his breath was hitched. Javier was still talking to the man, his voice smooth and easing both suspect and partner's nerves. Ryan had protected his partner, which was what mattered. If this guy didn't live- he didn't deserve it anyway. Sucking in deep gulps of stale motel air Kevin managed to ground himself once more and got himself outside where he could breathe and clean up.

A while later Javier was standing outside with him and they both stood looking at one another. "Thanks, Kev. I'm glad you've got my back." Javier reached out and pulled Kevin into a quick, hard, and warm embrace, clapping him on the back a few times. Kevin awkwardly gripped his partner back, perhaps letting his arms linger a beat longer than he should have.

"Always, dude. That's what we're here for." He smiled that tooth-showing grin of his that crinkled his eyes. Jerking his head towards their car he turned on his heel and strolled for it. "I'm sure Becket's gunna want to know what went down since she was stuck re-interviewing that brat teenager," Kevin said, his smile turning to a smirk.

Javier scoffed with a slight flare of his nostrils. "Yeah, I'm sure she and Castle are having a hell of time with that one." He chuckled a little. "Actually, I'm willing to bet Becket has killed either Bradley or Castle."

Kevin laughed, not quite the whole body laughter he normally shared but still a genuine laugh. "Probably Castle." He glanced over at his partner. "They need to break all the tension and just do it already."

"No kiddin', it's messing with team dynamics," Javier laughed pulling open the driver's side door and climbing in.

Kevin walked around and got into the passenger's seat. "It's his rugged handsomeness; she's intimidated." He sank into the seat, lazily stringing the seatbelt over himself and watching his partner.

"Bullshit!" Javier said turning on the car and listening to the engine rumble for a few seconds. "Castle's just too blind to see she wants him to ask her."

With a shrug Kevin kept it going all the way to the precinct and the light playful conversation felt good. God knew there was a lot of tension back at his place with Jenny. She was not as supportive through this as Kevin would have thought, or would have liked. He knew that what he was going to do tonight might upset her but it was something he felt he needed to do. Girlfriend's happiness aside, Kevin couldn't let this go, not just yet.


	2. Rough on Relations

9:00 P.M. Friday- Case 7 days cold

Kevin Ryan had his hands full of a box, bags of food, and his regular side bag which he kept slung over his chest. With all of that piled together, it was easy to see how he had such a hard time getting the door open. Balancing the box on his forearm and leaning the half into the wall he pulled one arm free of the mess and dug into his back pocket for his keys. Pulling out a tangle of metal he stuffed his apartment key into the lock and twisted, then pulled, and twisted again but the lock wasn't budging. A box started to tumble one way and he dropped the keys to grab the thing to keep it in place.

Suddenly the door opened of its own accord and Kevin looked inward. The hallway was dark as the only light that looked to be on was the kitchen light just around the corner. The face of his girlfriend appeared from beside the door and the scowl she wore told him everything. "I picked up dinner for us from your favorite Thai place," Kevin said with a soft upwards-twist of his lips.

Jenny rolled her eyes and headed back inside, not bothering to help him with anything piled in his hands. Taking a deep breath, Kevin shifted the things in his hands and started after his girlfriend he kicked the keys he dropped. Heaving a sigh and rolling his eyes upwards he decided it would be better to set his things down first. He knew how this would go over but there wasn't anywhere else to really set his things down. Placing the box, files and bags on the kitchen table he turned on his heel to get the keys from the hallway hoping that she would stave off of her yelling for a few more moments. He shut the door behind himself and pocketed the keys.

As he came back into the house he tried to focus on everything around him, the scent of the vanilla candle burning on the counter where Jenny had a sketch of something for work, the smell of the spicy Thai food on the table with his things, the hum of the dryer in the other room. Jenny's voice drew the most attention, dragging him in with its harsh blasts. "Kevin! Are we seriously doing this after what we talked about? I thought we'd come to an agreement. You cannot do this to me, Kevin. Not after everything that's happened."

Kevin looked over at her standing at the end of the kitchen table, holding up a crime photo. His sister laid on the ground, candy-red strands of blood droplets dribbled down her cheeks from her pink painted lips. Her blonde hair fell out around her like a Japanese fan, petals from a rose were laid carefully over her body and hair like the Sakura blossom décor painted against the golden locks. He stared into the open eyes, more green than blue but as striking as his own. Ripping his eyes from the bloody image he looked up into Jenny's dull gray eyes. "Can't do this to you? Jenny, she's my sister. She's a young, beautiful, intelligent girl. I can't let him get away with this."

"Was," Jenny said tossing the photo on the table top.

"What?" Kevin furrowed his eyebrows and the keys slipped from his finger, clashing on the counter. He gripped the edge of the kitchen counter as he watched Jenny. "What are you trying to say?

Jenny heaved a sigh and rushed a hand through her hair. "Was Kevin. She's been dead over a year now. You need to talk about the incident in the past tense like Katherine said." The woman was slowly moving past the table and towards Kevin. Her socked feet were silent across the floor.

Staring back at Jenny's dull eyes, Kevin tried to keep his breaking voice easy. "I don't really care what some shrink psychobabbled at you. I'm dealing with this."

"Are you?" Jenny interjected before he could continue the thought. "Look at you Kevin! You used to shave every day, your suits are no longer being ironed, you look exhausted and you have crime scene photos spilled across my kitchen table. I don't call that "dealing with" anything."

Kevin felt his hands shaking with anger the closer she drew herself up to him. "I'm. Dealing. With it." He pushed off of the counter and rushed past her to gather up the box and files in his bag. "I'll take it to the living room."

"No, Kevin. The girls are coming over tomorrow and I'm not having death sitting in my living room." Jenny had turned around and was reaching out for the box he'd grabbed. "Give it to me. It's going in the hall closet and you're going to take it all back tomorrow and drop this." Her eyes were narrowed, fierce, a lioness ready to leap.

Despite seeing how set Jenny was in her thoughts, Kevin couldn't let this go. It was his sister's murder… Did Jenny keep saying "my" this or that? She was implying something, he was sure of it, but wouldn't touch it yet. "No, I'm not bringing it back. Jenny, I can't."

"You swore, after our last fight, you swore you would leave work there." Jenny's hands were sitting on either side of the box. "Let this go."

Kevin tore the box away from Jenny and cradled it to his chest. "This _isn't_ work. Karli was my sister damn it. This is personal, not work." He took a few steps backwards, tightening his grip on the box and twisting his face in anger. Turning away from her, Kevin figured he'd set things on the top of his bureau where it would be reachable but out of the way. She had to be all right with that. It was there, but not. He knew Jenny would be upset about this because of their last fight but he hadn't expected her to be this crazy over his personal grief. He never thought she'd tell him to get rid of Karli's things.

"Kevin. Turn around." Jenny's voice was soft but he heard it. He paused, holding his breath and hoping she wouldn't say what he knew was going to leave her mouth. "Do not bring that into my room."

"Your?" Kevin whispered. He did turn around, slowly with his body following his shadowy gaze. Ice blue eyes had never seemed so dark and full of such fire. "Your?" his voice was louder, like the strike of a bass drum. "When did this stop being my home, too?" He leveled his eyes on Jenny, gritting his teeth and clenching the box until his knuckles were bone white. There was no way he'd seen _this_ coming.

"Three months ago when you refused to get help." She answered so quickly. "Instead you immersed yourself hopelessly in this cold case. Even Montgomery is calling it a cold case now." Jenny was quieter than before but her voice was even and strong. "This is my home, Kevin. You're here because I loved you but if you don't stop and go to Katherine like I asked, I don't know if I can keep this up. You're not the person I loved." Jenny sniffed, a few tears dripping down her skin.

Kevin stood staring at her with wide eyes and a rapidly thumping heart. "I can't. Jenny I can't let this go. Not yet. My little sister-"

"Get out, Kevin." Jenny turned away from Kevin and wrapped her arms around herself. He should have felt something stronger than shock. He should be upset at those words. "I'm sorry but this is destroying me, too. It's destroyed us." She was right. The woman heaved a breathy sob that wracked her body in small waves.

Kevin set the box down and moved to stand behind her. She needed some sort of comfort and he couldn't be kicked out. They were in love…once. They were together. This was their place, even if it was just in her name. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. "I need you, baby. Don't do this to me."

Jenny shook him off in wild thrashing movements and skittered further into the kitchen, back hitting the fridge where she stood still. "I could be anyone, Kevin. You love the idea of me but not me. You don't need me, I'm just another body." She wiped a shaky hand across her nose. "Who are we kidding? It never got past giddy school-days love. For either of us." She shook her head, sucking in a shaky breath and laughing slightly. "For all you care, it could be Esposito in your bed."

Kevin's head was spinning as he listened to her saying all of this. A flush was pouring over his cheeks. "You're wrong, baby. I love you."

"Shut up Kevin and just get out! I can't do this anymore. We've been fighting for months now and I'm tired of it. Get out!" Jenny was moving forwards and she grabbed the bag of food, shoving into his hands. She pushed him back, down the hall, yelling nearly incoherently at this point. Allowing her to force him back, Kevin stared wide eyed. He wasn't sure why he wasn't fighting back; the jumbled mess of thoughts in his head were tripping over each other. Kevin stumbled under her force and finally out of the door.

He fell back against the wall outside of the apartment. He stared at the numbers on the back of the closed door. Lost. "What do I…how…where-" The door swung open interrupting his muttering. Jenny practically threw his side bag at him and he dogged to the side hearing the bag hit the wall next to him. The door shut again and he listened to her footsteps. She was grabbing something from the dining room table. When the door opened a second time he saw the box of his sisters murder come flying at him, tilting to the side. Kevin dropped the food to catch the objects flying at him. Thai food went everywhere and the murder case spilled some of its brutal contents next to it.

"I'll get your things." Jenny shut the door and locked it leaving Kevin scrambling in the hallway to pick everything up off of the ground. His hands quickly found the pieces from the murder case, the marked evidence, the police reports…Thai food be damned. It was _her_ favorite anyway, not his.

He was breathing quickly, not able to get enough air and his mind was racing. He'd let his place get rented out since he moved in with Jenny. He had a storage unit with some things like furniture and seasonal clothes in it, but he was sure it was illegal to squat there. He would be sent to a psych if he stayed the night in the precinct building. He didn't have anywhere to go. Other than his car.

The door opened up just enough for a duffle bag to be chucked out and narrowly miss his stomach. It was followed by something he caught and that was lucky. Looking down in his hands was the picture of him and his sister. "Goodbye Kevin," Jenny's voice slipped through the crack in the door and disappeared with its snap shut.

11:00 P.M. Friday

Kevin sat in his car, the back seat holding a box, duffle bag, shoulder bag of work material, and a stack of books. That was his life, neatly placed in his vehicle. In a world of materialism he had to admit- this sucked. Easing back in his seat as he sat parked on the side of the street, Kevin looked around at the neighborhood he ended up in. It was block with small diners, a noisy bar and tall apartment buildings. It was where Javier lived. He was, in fact, parked right outside of Javier's brownstone flat. He'd been sitting here about twenty minutes now trying to get himself to go inside and ask Javier if he could stay with him long enough to rent another place himself. Kevin just had to figure out how to ask. "Hey, I got kicked out because I'm not okay, I'm slightly obsessed, probably should be put on meds and don't love my girlfriend, not really. Can I stay?" Kevin scoffed and looked at himself in his rearview mirror. "Yeah, that'll get you far." Rubbing his brow with his hand he sighed and looked back at the apartment.

The one he knew as Javier's still had lights on and he could see some movement. "Just do it already," he muttered to himself. Yanking the key from the ignition he climbed out of the car and jogged over, up the stairs and banged on the door before he could talk himself back into the car and over to the precinct. He heard footsteps coming to the door and heard a lock being flipped. It was small metallic click but it sank deep into his chest.

"Kev?" Javier asked, standing in the doorway gripping the door handle. His eyes flickered to the car and briefly took in the things piled in the back seat. "Did you, I mean did she-"

Kevin looked down at his feet, tucked his hands in his pockets then turned his eyes upwards to glance nervously at Javier. "Yeah, she kicked me out. I had nowhere else to go."

Javier was already stepping aside before Kevin even finished his sentence. He reached out and grabbed his partner's upper arm. "Get inside, Ryan. We'll get your stuff after you help me down the rest of the pizza I have, dude."

Walking in and stepping off to the side so that Esposito could shut the door, Kevin smiled and laughed lightly. He felt more at ease already. He followed Javier into the expanse apartment complex, kicking off his shoes in the foyer and hanging his jacket on the coat rack by the door. Once further inside of the apartment it was very male. The living room came up first and it had a deep brown leather couch, a coffee table with a chip in the corner holding a very funny story behind it, and a large screen T.V. with Madden paused on the screen. Over the island counter of the kitchen, Kevin could see a pizza box open and some dishes stacked in the sink. It was clean though, Javier was definitely a clean person. In fact, he once stole Kevin's controller during a round of Halo when the man discovered his partner still had his shoes on. Kevin let himself smile again at the memories then looked over at Javier. "Tell me it's pepperoni."

Javier looked at him with slightly flared nostrils and a raised eyebrow. "Man, I'm almost offended." He pushed Kevin towards the kitchen and headed for the fridge. Pulling out two beers he offered one to his best friend who was grabbing a slice of the pepperoni pizza. "How long you think you're out for?" he asked groping in a drawer for a bottle opener, mostly to keep his eyes off of Kevin and let him talk without feeling pressured.

Finding the bottles were twist offs, Kevin popped the top of his while Javier took his time digging. "Uh," Kevin took a swig of his beer and leaned back against the countertop. "Pretty permanent. I'm thinking we're done, Javi." He shrugged and shifted his feet, leaving the countertop.

"Come on," Javier said leading his partner to the living room and over to the couch. They both took a seat, Kevin sinking into the couch and leaning up against the arm, one leg curled under him and the other stretched out to rest nearly on Javier's legs.

"She said neither of us loved each other past that puppy love stage," Kevin said taking another deep pull from his bottle. "I think she's right, about most of it." His lips twisted in a dismaying sort of way and his eyes fell to his lap where a slice of pizza sat half eaten. He thought of the things sitting out in his car. He did not want to move from where they were crashed at the moment. He nearly jumped when the feel of a warm hand landed on his thigh. He looked over at Javier and saw the man giving him an easy smile that made little laugh lines play at the corners of Javi's lips.

"We'll get through this, don't worry." Javier leaned back further against the couch, sinking into its depths and keeping his eyes on Kevin. "A few more beers, a little more pizza, and some of those crappy movies you make me watch and you'll be feeling better man. I'm sure of it." Javier took a swig of his own beer. Lowering the bottle enough to look over it he threw Ryan a raking tease of lifted eyebrows and the crack of a jackknifed grin.

Kevin let his face fall into feigned displeasure, lines creasing across his forehead. "My movies aren't crap. There's more thought to them then something like _Speed_." The Irish cop was feeling more at ease already, especially with Esposito talking about a 'we' and not just 'you'. Knowing that someone was there, at the very least cheering him on from the sidelines. Of course, after all he's been through with Javier, he knew the man was not a sidelines type of man. He was the "till the wheels fall off" kinda guy. And then some. Kevin knew he was lucky to have Javier as his partner and tonight was only proving that even more.

"Yo, _Speed _is a good flick, Kevin Ryan, and you know it. Do not make me get a new partner." Javier sat up as suddenly as his words flew from his mouth. He set the now empty beer bottle down and playfully glared at his best friend.

With a roll of the eyes, Kevin put his own bottle down and sat up to glare back. The clink of the bottle on wood echoed in his ears, filling the silence of their tense looks. "Tell the truth, it's totally because you have a thing for Keanu Reeves."

"Pssh, you don't know me dude. I'm all for blue eyes, not brown." Javier stared into eyes of blue rivaling the clear sky on a summer day. He realized the implication he'd just made only after the words had spewed from his mouth. He cut his words off tight, shutting off even his breathing as he waited for Kevin to fix this situation Javier had just thrown them in.

Kevin sat staring, mouth open acutely as he let the words sink into his brain. The process of making sense of them took a moment and then the left side of his mouth twitched in some nervous half-grin. Leaning forward, closing the bulk of distance between him and his partner, Kevin let his lips dance across Javier's in a tender waltz. Javier's lips moved with the dip softly before they pulled back.

Both men sat in the awkward limbo of intermingling breath and darting close stares for long moments before Javier coughed and pulled further back. "Kevin-"

"I'm sorry," Kevin interrupted quickly. "It's been a long and confusing night. Let's just pretend this didn't happen, yeah?"

Javier chewed his bottom lip and nodded. "Yeah, good deal." Still they sat, silent and in racing and probably racy thoughts. It took a minute before Javier could find more words to break the tension. "We should get the stuff from your car and get settled in. Montgomery'll wring our necks if we're late in the morning."

Kevin gave a short scoffing laugh and pushed up from the couch. "Yeah, re-election always puts him in a mood."

The few things from Kevin's car were gathered fairly quickly and he soon found himself in Javier's guest room. Lying in the bed, thoughts rocketed around his brain to the point that he was beginning to believe those thoughts could shoot their way out of his skull. The dull, throbbing ache that replaced his thoughts thankfully helped to lull him into a slumber deep enough that he didn't remember his random dreams the next morning.


	3. Settling Soul and Relapses

(A/N- Re-uploaded with sister's name fixed and time stamps in the correct form.)

7:30 A.M. Saturday – Case 8 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan woke up to the sound of a beeping and he threw his hand out instinctively expecting to connect with the top of an alarm clock. Instead he smashed his phone and it fell clattering to the floor beside the twin bed. "Mmm," he growled under his breath and sat up, rubbing his eyes and catching his surroundings.

The guest bedroom Javier had him set up in was small but comfortable. It had a TV so that was nice. Tossing the sheets off of his boxer clad body; Kevin leaned over the edge and snatched up his phone turning it off. He climbed out of the bed and pulled on the pair of discarded jeans next to the bed. Walking out to the main section of the apartment Kevin found that it was quiet and still; Javier must have still been in bed. He smiled in relief, wanting to get ready for work without having the tense talk with his partner. They'd said they would forget about Kevin's break-down-kiss but something like that wasn't easily put aside.

Kevin knew most of the apartment so finding breakfast wasn't hard. He downed a bowl of Chex and half a glass of orange juice before poking around for an ironing board and iron. Actually, he was thoroughly surprised that Javier had one. Pulling it into the guest bedroom, Kevin dug through his bag of clothes and pulled out a pale pink button up. He hadn't worn more colorful clothing in a while; perhaps it was time to try and get some normality back into his life. It could maybe calm him down as he continued to look into his sister's case.

The brief thought of what Javier would say about him continuing the cold case flitted through his brain and a pang of nervousness ran through him. Kevin really didn't want to ruin their partnership but he was doing a damn fine job at just that. He wasn't sure how much longer Javier would be able to stand him.

Laying the button up on the board, Kevin dragged the iron over it and watched the wrinkles smooth out of the fabric. He was careful, meticulous even, and it felt good again to fall into the natural routine of putting his outfit together for the day. Setting the iron up to cool, Kevin headed for the bathroom with a little bag.

Running steaming water, Kevin set out his razor and shaving cream, his face wash and a wash cloth. Taking the blade he ran it evenly and gently over his skin, shaving off a few days worth of laziness. Picking up the cloth and cleanser after shaving he washed away remnants of the hardships of the last week.

Standing a few minutes later in front of a mirror near the closet in the guest room, Kevin straightened the collar of his shirt and tightened his tie. He looked good again. He felt good again. Now that he had perceived confidence back it was time to try and face the awkwardness of small talk with a man he'd kissed last night and try to pretend he hadn't done that. Kevin could hear Javier moving around the apartment, getting himself ready, too.

Moving out of the room and towards the kitchen he watched his partner turn around and watch him enter the room. Kevin stood in the doorway, staring back at Javier and forcefully cracking a tight smile. "Morning," he offered to the silence of the room.

"Yeah, you look good bro. Apparently getting away from Jenny did you some good." Javier smiled slightly obviously trying too hard to keep their minds off of last night.

8:45 A.M. Saturday

Kevin sat at his desk flipping through a file of half-finished paperwork from the last few days. His computer was slowly coming to life as he leaned back in wait. His plan today, granted there wasn't an emergency case springing up, was to get all of his extra paper work caught up so some semblance of normality would be had in the office space at least.

Javier Esposito was at his own desk and there was definite tension between the two of them though they tried to hide it. What had happened at Javier's was not for anyone else to know about, especially not Castle. Then they wouldn't hear the end of it. Kevin snuck a glance over at his partner and saw him typing away frantically at some form or another. It looked like it dealt with the arrest he'd made yesterday. Kevin noted the way Javier's eyebrows creased tightly together and his mouth hung just slightly open in his concentration. He almost looked like he was pouting at the computer.

Hearing a beep from his own, Kevin looked back and saw some web pages springing up, as if someone had shut it down with them still loaded up. He cocked an eyebrow and heard his partner shifting in his chair. "Castle?" Esposito's voice carried easily over the mostly empty office space.

Kevin scoffed as he saw a page of porn, pretty explicit, pop up. "Gotta be. He hasn't done this to me in a while so I'm not really surprised." The smile the touched the corners of Kevin's lips gave away his amusement at Castle's pranks.

Javier laughed sitting back and pushing the paper file across his desk. "He did give you fair warning you know."

"_Right_, just spouting out randomly one day that my computer is used for porn is warning?" Kevin looked over at Javier, pushing the mouse up to the "x" button. "If that _is_ a warning, it's not really a fair one." The smile was growing over his face. The easy conversation of the office was breaking the quiet tension they'd been in almost since waking up.

Something came flying from Javier's hand and hit Kevin square in the chest. It was an eraser from the end of a pencil. He picked it up and stared at it slightly confused until Javier's voice drew his attention in that direction. "Ah, come on, it's Castle. He's too pretentious for an actual warning. Or you know- normal conversation. He's gunna screw it all up somehow, man."

"Point," Kevin murmured and chucked the eraser back just in time for Becket to walk in.

"You two really can't be left alone, can you?" she said sitting down with a playful glare. She looked Kevin, well dressed and clean shaven, up and down with a half of a smirk.

"You've no idea," Kevin whispered lightly hoping she wouldn't actually hear anything he'd said. Sometimes he just really couldn't filter out what his mind wanted him to say. Some things shouldn't be spoken out loud.

Javier sat up and tossed the eraser at her. "You and Castle cause more problems than Ryan and I do. I'm sure Montgomery would back me up on that." He grinned wickedly at her.

"Hey now, that's all Castle." She put on a defensive frown as she caught the flying eraser.

Kevin cocked an eyebrow and felt for a moment that maybe he should duck. Of course, that thought came too late as the eraser hit him in the middle of the forehead. "Thanks for that Becket." Javier and Becket were both laughing heartily. This felt right. This felt good. Funny, Jenny was nowhere in his mind except the brief moment of realizing he wasn't worried about her in the least.

Picking up a stress ball since the eraser went missing somewhere underneath his desk, Kevin squeezed it and leaned back in his chair watching his two co-workers. "Since there's no case today I take it Castle isn't coming in?" He looked at Becket expecting her to have all the answers considering it was concerning Castle.

"I haven't called him…" she glanced over at Kevin with questions in her eyes.

"Mm, guess I can't yell at him for this yet then." Kevin shrugged it off and pulled up actual work with the hand that wasn't occupied.

Becket looked over at Javier since Kevin seemed to have clamed up. "What's he talking about? What did Castle do now?"

He glanced at Javier was who boisterously jumping in with the details and felt doubt and unease settling back in his chest. Kevin couldn't help the fear he had. He was very comfortable here, with his partner, and Becket and Castle. Now his mind was muddled with thoughts he shouldn't be having. Setting his sharp blue eyes intently on the screen, Kevin drowned out the other two's conversation and leaned in. He dropped the stress ball and pounded away at the keys, folder still open next to him. He was now determined to get his work caught up with. Kevin needed a sense of familiarity back in his life. He'd done well this morning and he didn't want to lose the momentum he'd gained.

12:51 P.M. Saturday

Kevin was scribbling in his notebook when Richard Castle walked in that afternoon. It was close to one o'clock and Kate and Javier were sitting at her desk joking around. All three turned a bit to watch him stroll in holding something in his hand. Another book.

"I just got the publishing company to take on another book. It's a spin-off of the Nikki Heat series!" Rick's face was beaming brightly as he held up the cover. It had the silhouette of two male cops, back to back with their guns raised.

Javier's eyebrows lurched upwards in question. "Castle, is that…" he looked at the cover and then up to Rick.

Rick shrugged his shoulders upwards and let them fall quickly. "Well, my readers were so taken with the Detectives Raley and Ochoa in the Heat series that they wanted more of them. So I made a mini-series consisting of three books just for them." His smile was broader than when he'd first walked in.  
Kevin rolled his eyes and shook his head before turning his eyes back to the notebook he was scribbling in. The relaxed and playful atmosphere that was forming was allowing for Kevin to breathe and relax. His life was moving in a new direction and he had to figure it out before too long. The set up with Javier could not be permanent. Even though the tension had dissipated here, he had a feeling it would pick right back up once they were alone in Javier's apartment. Javier hadn't yet flung him to the streets or requested a new partner, but it had only been one night.

Kevin had to admit, to himself at least, that their shared kiss had his mind reeling with thoughts today. What connection did he really have to Jenny? It was nice for a while, cute and fun, very flirty but there wasn't anything deep. He honestly didn't know where Jenny saw herself in five years time. He hadn't known where he and Jenny would have been in five years from now. There was never talk of marriage or kids. Javier and Kevin on the other hand, talked about the future all the time. They talked about their lives, their wants, their dreams… they joked that Kevin would end up taking over Montgomery's job while Javier retired early to some beach down in Florida. Kevin knew though, from their private conversations that Javier wanted something much different than all that. Javier wanted someone to spend the rest of his life with and he wanted to stay a detective as long as he could. Kevin knew his partner loved his job and knew he'd make an extremely passionate lover to someone.

Tuning back in, Kevin heard Castle's deep voice in the throes of some story or another. "…to be the sister. He was less than pleased when he found out I was the one over."

Javier was laughing uproariously, clutching one arm over his stomach and folding in on himself in the chair by Kate's desk. Becket on the other hand was shaking her head and flicking a pen between her fingers. "You're such a brute, Castle." Her voice carried surprisingly well over Javier's laughter and brought a slight frown to Rick's face.

"Hey, she's the one that asked me out first," he defended himself but not all that well.

A small snicker left Kevin as he watched Castle pout. After a few moments of silence, Kevin spoke up. "Anyone want coffee while I'm up?" he asked pushing his seat back and glancing towards the extensive coffee machine Rick had bought the precinct.

Castle held up the cup he was clutching from when he'd walked in with the book. "I'm all set," he said and watched Javier stand up. As soon as Kevin's partner moved away from his seat, Rick slipped in it.

Javier looked down at Castle's grin and over at Kevin. Shrugging his shoulders he said, "Well, might as well go with you now." He tossed an elbow back and caught Rick's upper arm with it.

"Hey, you moved. I claimed it." Rick Castle snorted with a quick ring of laughter.

"I'm good," Kate said pulling up her vibrating phone and checking it. She flipped it open and answered. "Hey Lani. What's up?" she asked. A moment's pause and Becket was getting up and heading for the stairs to the morgue. "Come on Castle," she said not turning back to look at him. Of course, Rick was out of his seat as if someone had lit fire to it.

Moving towards the small back room that held the coffee machine, Kevin could feel Javier at his back. That comforting warmth was back. He had to close his eyes for a moment to collect himself before speaking up again. "Mind if we pick up the paper before heading back to your apartment tonight so I can look for a place?" he asked glancing over his shoulder at his partner.

Javier nodded a little and moved around him to grab two cups. He handed one over to Kevin and didn't let it go, holding it between the two of them so their attention was focused on one another. "I've got that extra bedroom and can always use help with rent." He let his fingers uncurl from the cup and eased back, his hip resting against the counter. "I mean, you can take your time if you'd like."

Grabbing the things to put together a latté Kevin nodded with an easy smile. "Thanks, Javi." He set his cup under one of the dispensers and held his hand out for Javier's. Taking it from him he set up his drink as well and looked back over at the other man. "I have a feeling we're going to lose a lot of nights to Madden."

"I also picked up a few new games." Javier's grin was broad, his brown eyes flickering with long repressed excitement. Kevin liked this look, one he'd missed from the easier times in the precinct. "We've got a lot to catch up on, man."

"No kiddin'," Kevin breathed out easily. Maybe that worry about tension later on was misplaced. They seemed to be back on the easy track of partners and best friends. Kevin decided it would be best to push all thoughts of the kiss aside and do as he said, forget about it. It was nothing but a flash of a mistake in their friendship and could be overlooked quite effectively.

The sudden burst of beeping from their pagers made both men look down and frown. "Damn it, always when the coffee is done…" Javier hit his pager to get it to shut up and grabbed his steaming cup of latté, taking a large gulp of its contents.

Kevin watched with a grimace waiting for Javier to pull back with a curse and red lips and tongue from the hot liquid that had just invaded his mouth. He had silenced his own pager now and was holding his cup, not yet taking a drink of it. "You know, we could probably drink these in the car on the way over…" he said over the gasp from his partner. "Make Becket drive."

Javier chuckled and held the cup to his mouth again. "Yeah, there's that idea." He blew across the top of it and waited on the second gulp.

Ryan and Esposito moved across the first floor towards the desks where they could pick up their things and wait on Becket and Castle.

9 P.M. Sunday – Case 9 day cold

Sunday nights, Kevin thought, were always good nights since they had the next two days off. That meant he didn't feel guilty tossing back his fourth beer of the night with no sign of stopping there. Javier was already on his sixth. They were lounging on the couch, controllers discarded on the table and laughs echoing around the large room. "Did you see the look on Castle's face when Becket took that guy down?" Javier snickered and laughed around the top of his beer bottle.

Kevin gave a breathy chuckle and nodded. "I'm still not sure how he hasn't gotten _his_ arm twisted up like that." There were laughing crow's feet in the corner of Kevin's eyes. He hadn't felt this good in a while.

After the two settled into a comfortable silence of drinking and Javier deciding to flip through the television stations, Kevin looked over at his partner. "Hey Javi, you got plans for your vacation time?" he asked curiously.

Javier lowered the remote once he'd landed on some show with explosions and fast cars and returned Kevin's glance. "Not really. You got some big idea?" he asked

The blue eyed cop heaved his shoulders up and down in a shrug. "Not really, just thinking it would be nice to get out of the city for a while." He kept his eyes on his partner. "Also thought company would be nice. Maybe Castle would be willing to put us up in his house in the Hamptons. We could drag Becket along, too." Kevin's smile was warm and interested, the slight shifting forward of his body a hopeful movement.

"Heh, yeah if Castle's got a place for us, I'm totally in bro." Javier downed the last of his bottle and set it on the table. "You know he's always trying to get us to do stuff. I'm sure a vacation at his rich guy mansion would make him excited." He twisted his lips and flared his nose in a quick and sudden thought. "Becket might not go along with it though…"

Kevin shifted and scratched his head. "You don't think so? Castle and the bikini issue?"

Javier nodded exaggeratedly. "You _know_ he'd be all over her to get into a bikini down there." A smile twitched the corner of his lips. " 'course I'd be congratulating the man if he could get her in one."

A laugh escaped Kevin's lips though his chest was taut all of a sudden. "She's certainly got the body for it. You think she even owns one?"

Kevin was very amused at that jackknifed movement Javier's eyebrows do when he's about to express some happy dispute or spew some joke. "You think she doesn't? If I had to guess, the only bathing suit Kate Becket owns is a two piece."

"Well, no harm in asking," Kevin said topping off his beer. "Want another?" he questioned getting to his feet with full intent on another for himself.

Javier looked at him with an expression that read, "are you mental?" and it made Kevin pause. "No harm in asking Becket if she wears a bikini? Ha! I'll let you do that one all on your own, man." He was laughing during Kevin's response but still heard him and laughed louder.

"Oh, 'til the wheels fall off, huh? Besides, I meant asking Castle about the vacation…" Kevin huffed and headed for the kitchen, still awaiting an answer from his partner. "Javi, beer?" he prompted as he stood in front of the fridge, door open and Kevin half slung over it as he bent over to look for another couple of bottles.

Suppressing the rest of his laughter, Javier looked over the couch and into the doorway of the kitchen where he could clearly see Kevin draped over his refrigerator. "Sure, yeah." He coughed another brief laugh.

Kevin smiled though he fought not to and grabbed two beer bottles. Tonight was good.

11:42 P.M. Monday – Case 10 days cold

Kevin sat on the floor; there was more room there for one. Two, it wasn't as comfortable as the bed so his body wouldn't make him fall asleep when he didn't want to. On the bed was a mostly empty box, labeled "Karen Ryan". On the floor, spread around Kevin, were the contents of the box. He stared at the warrant of arrest for some man who'd ended up having an air tight alibi that even Castle couldn't fandangle into some complex scheme of guilt.

Drawing his hand up to his forehead, he dug his fingers into his temples then rubbed his eyes. "Come on Kev, what are you missing? It's all right here…" he picked up a couple of crime scene photos and held them up next to one another, blue eyes watery and dull as they searched for some missed detail. He threw them back down and picked up some of the police reports, shuffling through the pile over and over again, reading snippits, and stopping at details that caught his eye.

Tossing those papers aside with a sharp flick of his wrist Kevin ground his teeth and looked around himself again, trying to find something to focus his attentions on. There had to be something in this pile that could give him a lead, a new insight, anything. He threaded his fingers into his hair and gripped tightly in irritation, barely noting the strokes of pain that licked through him with the action.

Javier stirred from his sleep, the need of a bathroom pushing him from the warmth of his blankets. Opening up the door he found the guest room was cracked open and a light was brightly shinning from it. He couldn't really think of a reason why Kevin would still be up. They'd both called it quits that night pretty early.

Curiously, Javier made his way down the hall as quietly as he could manage. Fortunately he knew the place well enough to be able to overstep the creaky spots in the floor. Leaning against the wall in a t-shirt and his boxers, Javier listened carefully in case he was about to listen in on something he shouldn't be. The rustle of papers hit his ears and he held his breath trying to hear the subtle, dim noises escaping the cracked door. There was a mild curse followed by the sharp hiss of a quick, pained inhale.

Curiosity turned concern, Javi glanced in and saw Kevin sticking a finger in his mouth as a piece of paper fluttered to the floor in front of him. Javier's eyes followed the paper to the ground and along the edge he saw a line of crimson red liquid beading on it. Paper cut. Javier felt more relaxed at the delicate wound and took the time to really look at what lay around his partner. Fortunately Kevin was profile to Javier and not paying one bit of attention to his partly opened door. Javier noted the box on the bed, the name, and the crime scene photos splayed at Kevin's knees. "Oh, Ryan…" he murmured and pulled back. It wasn't his place to be here. Not right now.

Making a quick retreat to the bathroom, Javier felt tension building in his forehead. He'd have a headache for sure tomorrow; hopefully he could stave off the negative temperament that normally came with one.

2:13 P.M. Monday- Case 12 days cold

Kevin Ryan was sitting at his desk, phone tucked against his ear as he listened to a woman spewing a story about an alien abduction and missing daughter. He had his pen in his notebook, scribbling down details about names and addresses while skipping over the alien part. Though he might have found it fun to debate with Castle, until they had a scene that may look like an alien abduction, he took it as crazy talk. He'd gotten so many of these calls over the years as a cop that he knew when to take it at face value. Granted, the woman seemed to need help so he wouldn't just ignore it as nothing, he just wouldn't proceed without evidence. Becket would murder him with one of her lucky elephants on her desk.

Nodding despite not believing too much, Kevin tapped his pen on his notebook and glanced around. Becket and Castle were still out on some case and Javier…actually Kevin wasn't sure where his partner was.

Leaning over the desk and shifting, Kevin felt his back crack and barely suppressed a relieved sigh from the sudden lack of tension. He would have probably heard it to if the woman weren't yelling at him about his incompetence. He nodded along with her words as if agreeing while starting to sketch on his notepad. The woman had gone from helpless crazy to right out bat-shit crazy now. "Always me…" he muttered and immediately regretted it. The woman went into hysterics and Kevin was just about to pull the receiver from his ear when a loud crash announced the woman slamming down her own phone back on the hook.

Kevin cringed then nearly jumped out of his skin when a large hand fell on his shoulder. Glancing over it he chuckled. Javier was standing there with a cup of steaming coffee and he was holding it out to Kevin. "Thanks, man. I need it," he said accepting it was two steady hands then hunching over it.

"Yeah, that sounded painful. Your mother?" Javier teased with a raking grin and bumped into Kevin's shoulder.

A scoff answered that. "I could only wish. I at least wouldn't get hung up on." Kevin smiled. His blue eyes were lacking the brightness they'd gained these few days.

Javier sat on the corner of Kevin's desk and stared at him for a moment. "Look, I know we're dudes, and there's the bro code of keep your feelings to yourself but…" Javier looked away. "You know we've always been able to talk to each other 'bout anything." This felt intrusive, but after the other night Javier felt something needed to be said.

Kevin leaned back in his chair, more for adding distance than out of seeking a comfortable position. "Yeah, I know." He paused for a moment and watched Javier. When his partner looked back at him he probed, "Something you needed to talk about?" he asked hoping Javier wasn't questioning something he was doing or had done.

Brown eyes burned disappointment and Javier took in a deep breath. "No, I was referring to…you. The other night…" Javier forced himself to keep looking at his partner as he spoke. He didn't want to distance himself from this topic; he wanted it clear that he was going to support his best friend through the shit he was dealing with.

Kevin felt concern washing over him as he stared back at Javier. He had a feeling he knew what was being brought up and he was tensing under the topic. He didn't want Javier to hate him. He didn't want to get kicked out from another place, not after things were starting to look up outside of his sister's case. Progress. He couldn't lose the progress.

"I saw you in the room, with the evidence box. You can't go about this alone and Becket would back me up. It almost broke her and I'd prefer not to have to pick up the pieces, man. You're a great partner, a great friend, so you know I would do it but I'd rather be let in now so it's not so hard later." Javier knew his concern was giving him the courage to approach Kevin about this and he hoped that Kevin saw that, too. He reached out and laid a hand on Kevin's shoulder, brown eyes locking with blue eyes.

The feel of the heavy hand clasping his shoulder had Kevin sucking in a wrenching breath and he felt the warmth from it spreading through the rest of him. Staring into Javier's eyes was a complicated comfort. He wanted to look away, to hide his weakness, but he was drawn in by something in them. Kevin could depend on Javier; he'd always been able to depend on his partner. "Yeah," he said and broke the eye contact, looking down. "I can't let it go, Javi. She's…she was my sister."

"She _is_ your sister, man. And look, I've been thinking…" Javier pulled back and Kevin immediately craved the warmth of the lacking hand. "It's been hell trying to find a place for you, I've got plenty of space, and I'd love to have a more frequent bar buddy." Javier offered him a smile.

Kevin looked up, catching the drift of the conversation. "It would be less of a stress to not have to look for a place for a while." He shrugged and grabbed his coffee, sipping at it. "But that's totally your choice, bro. I'm the road kill," he grinned.


	4. Looking Glass Partner

(A/N: Re-uploaded with sister's name fixed and the signature added to the letter.)

7:45 P.M. Saturday- Case 15 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan sat in Javier Esposito's living room with Karen's box in front of him on the coffee table. The x-box controllers were on the ground on either side of the table and the warmth of another body sat close to Kevin. He glanced over at his partner and gave a weak frown. "You're sure about this? I mean, you don't this is unhealthy of me?" Kevin asked, eyebrows scrunched and making creased worry lines on his forehead.

Javier turned his body to face Kevin more directly. "Kev, I said you can't go about this alone, man. Now drop the road-kill attitude and let's take another look."

Kevin stared at Javier for a few long beats then nodded, gave a soft smile and turned towards the box and coffee table. He grabbed the two large case files and handed one to his partner. The other he opened up on his lap and found himself looking at a picture of his sister. She was beautiful, even in death. Flipping the photo over, he flicked through the police write ups, one by one, scanning for a misstep. Nothing. The cops on the beginning of the case had filed everything perfectly. All signatures in transfer of evidence were accounted for. Each detail was marked, photographed, tagged and sketched.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin noted Javier checking signatures. "What about the cops on the case?" Kevin asked looking over his partner.

"Hmm?" Javier turned his eyes, catching electric blue ones. "What about them?"

"Check for connections to other cases, maybe…I mean this case was gone over so thoroughly." Kevin looked down, not believing he was voicing this thought. It was something a cop never wanted to imagine, to come across, let alone investigate. "This case was gone over so well, it's not hard to believe that someone from the inside could have had a hand in this, right?" His thoughts flew to the case nearly two weeks ago, with the girl sprawled out looking a lot like his sister. What about cases that looked like his sisters? They could check those against signatures on his sister's case and-

Javier's deep timbre interrupted his thoughts. "Kevin, think about your inferring." He reached a hand across the space between them and set it on Kevin's knee. "You sure you want to pursue this?"

Kevin's eyes went to Javier's hand then up to the deep brown eyes. He froze, losing all current thoughts as he stared into the chocolate depths. "Wha- uh, yeah. I know. It's a terrible thought, but what else do we have to go off of? It's a lead that shouldn't take long to prove or disprove, right?"

Pulling his hand away and shaking his head, Javier sank back in his seat. "Yeah, I guess not, but…"

"I told you, you don't have to do this with me. If you want out, just say so. I'm not going to drag you into something you're not comfortable doing." Kevin shifted to the edge of the couch, flipping through the case file again mostly for something to do with his hands.

Javier scoffed. "Nah, I told you, wheels."

"I'm pretty sure we're down to rims, bro." Kevin tossed the file back into the box and put his hands up to his temples, running his fingers in small circles over them. "All right, if you're still in, let's check this lead later when we have access to the system at work."

From his peripheral Kevin saw Javier nod and roll his head back on the top of the couch and close his eyes. "Fine."

"Hey, part of me moving in was to give you a more frequent bar buddy. You want to go out tonight?" Kevin inquired standing up and gathering the rest of the things from the table and tossing them into the box. He figured the lax way he was now handling the case material was a good thing. He shouldn't be obsessing to a point of paying even the police reports such careful attention as he paid Karen's personal things.

Standing up as well, Javier grabbed the box to put away in the hall closet between their rooms. "Yeah, that sounds good."

8:50 P.M. Saturday

Kevin and Javier sat at the bar, each with a tall beer in hand and looking up at a T.V. screen showing a baseball game. They both had on smiles and were bumping shoulders as Reyes slid his way in to the home plate. "Man Castle is going to owe us so much Sunday," Kevin chuckled as the score went up yet again.

"No kidding. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't show up tomorrow." Javier took a long drag from his bottle. "I think the only thing getting him out of his place tomorrow is if it's a case involving ninja aliens conspiring with the government to retrieve some time travel device."

Swinging blue eyes over to his partner, Kevin lifted his eyebrows. "Ninja aliens?"

Javier looked at him and sputtered in laughter. "Yeah, that's what I came up with. That's why I'm a cop and not a writer."

Kevin's face quivered as he tried not to laugh then lit up with bursting laughter. "I see that. I'm sure Castle would love to hear your theory, though. Sounds like something he'd come up with." Kevin clapped Javier on the back and took a drink from his own beer.

The Hispanic detective smiled along with his partner and held up his hand to get a couple more drinks for them. "I'm just glad to see you're having fun," he said cracking open the two bottles that were set in front of him. "Here," he passed one down to Kevin. Javier watched a woman approached Kevin's other side. Her eyes flicked to him then over Kevin and she smiled.

The first thing that Kevin noticed was Javier turning away from him on the stool at the bar. The next was beautiful red headed girl sitting on his other side. She was looking right at him, a smile on her pearly pink painted lips. "Hey," the woman breathed out turning towards him, showing off her body which was hugged in a tight black dress. "I'm Katherine. What's your name?"

Kevin stared dumbly at her for a moment, not fully realizing that she was hitting on him. "Wha…" The feel of Javier's fist in the middle of his back brought him back to himself. He sat up a little straighter, his black leather jacket creaking, and he smiled putting little crow's feet next to his bright blue eyes. "Kevin Ryan. Detective Kevin Ryan," he said in a smooth cadence. _Flirt with her, keep this up. Maybe you'll stop your ridiculous thoughts about your partner…_

"Mm, a cop huh? You carry a gun, Detective Ryan?" the woman asked peering down at his waist and reaching an arm out to push the lapel of his jacket away.

Kevin's cheeks were dusting pink as she fawned over him and he couldn't help but think about the man sitting behind him. He listened for a moment and heard a soft scoff come from Javier. "Not while I'm out," Kevin said catching her wrist and holding onto it. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand and noticed how pale she was. He was pale, too, having those very Irish parents and all. Their skin tones were too close, too clashing. It wasn't a good match. "Can I get you something to drink?"

A fourth presence crowded the space at the bar; a tall man who looked liked lifting weights at the gym was a hobby of his (for a man with a lot of time for hobbies) stood in front of Kevin and Katherine. He moved quickly, as soon as the two looked at him, and grabbed the front of Kevin's jacket. The man pulled him up, fists balled tightly in his leather jacket and lifted him off of the seat. Kevin's feet were barely touching the floor and his hands were now wrapped around this man's wrists. "What the hell are you doing with my girlfriend?" the man roared, giving Kevin a little shake.

Javier was to Kevin's side in seconds, landing a hand in the middle of the guy's chest. It was the hand on Kevin's lower back that reassured him the most. "Let go," Kevin said at the same time Javier spoke up.

"She approached him, man." Javier's thumb ran an absent, comforting circle on Kevin's lower back as he attempted to get him out of this guy's grasp.

After another shake, Kevin found he could get his footing, but the guy didn't fully let go. Javier pulled his hands away and Kevin glanced down; he'd balled them into fists. Looking up to Javi's face to gage a reaction he saw the set eyes, the slightly flared nostrils, and the tight jaw. He was ready to hit and be hit. "Let him go," Javier said in a low tone.

Kevin quickly moved his arms upwards, hitting the guy's arms off of him. If the man hadn't had a loose grip and been cooperative, Kevin doubted he would have been able to get him off. Even that little gesture had a lot of weight. "If you're going to yell at anyone, she's the one hanging all over me." Kevin shot her a look and his heart froze a moment. She looked terrified. Not the "oh no, I'm going to lose a boyfriend" terrified, but she looked about ready to either faint or run into busy, fast traffic.

Before either Kevin or Javier knew what was happening, the man turned and backhanded the woman hard enough to send her falling off of the barstool and onto the floor. Katherine yelped and both cops were lurching for the man as he advanced on her. Kevin noted a large bouncer parting the crowd and quickly heading their way. This could get messy. As Kevin and his partner tackled the guy and fought his swinging arms, Kevin had to admit he wasn't thinking about work, about his perversion towards Javi or even his sister's case. He was busy thinking about the elbow in his gut, the possible black eye from a flailing fist and how dirty the floor was getting his leather jacket. It was a rush, taking this guy down, and though it was in a way, fun, he was thankful of the added help from the bouncer.

Katherine, at the end of the brawl, was cowered against the bar on the floor. Javi's cuffs were on the guy- another thing Kevin was thankful for; at least one of them had come prepared.

"I'm taking him out to the car, you get her and I'll meet you at the precinct, bro." Javier said. "You got cash for a cab?" Javier had a hold of the guy's arms but still needed the bouncer to keep a hold of him.

"Yeah, I've got cash. Meet you there." Kevin looked at the spitting and swearing large angry boyfriend. "You be careful, Javi." He looked into his deep brown eyes and offered half a smile.

Javier beamed at him, straightening up. "Always am, bro. Always am."

"Uh huh," the roll of Kevin's eyes was joking and he smiled a large beaming grin when Javier walked away with the guy. Turning back around he held out a hand to Katherine. "Come here, I've got you," he said as she reached a shaking hand out towards him. He took hers in a steady grasp and helped her to her feet. Wrapping an arm around her waist he noted she wasn't wearing a jacket. "Where's your coat, Katherine?" She just shook her head so Kevin figured he'd play the gentleman card and pulled off his, wrapping it around her before they hit the cool night's air.

Hailing a cab, Kevin helped her in and told the cabbie the address of the Precinct. He kept an arm around the woman, trying to offer whatever comfort he could as they made their way through the city. He was the first out of the car and saw Javier's car around the side in the parking lot. He was waiting on Kevin to get the guy inside. Looking at Katherine he wasn't sure she'd want to be around the guy at this point in time. "Katherine, could you right inside those doors for me? Just take a seat on the bench in there and if anyone asks what you're doing, tell them Kevin Ryan said to wait there for him, all right?"

She looked up at him, nodded and smiled just a little. "Sure, thank you so much, Kevin. I really appreciate it," she was up and off, slowly across the courtyard, up the stairs and inside as Kevin made his way over to his partner. Seeing Kevin making his way over, Javier opened the backdoor and started to pull the man out. He had a fresh cut on his lip and was a lot more willing to cooperate it seemed. Kevin looked at his partner with a raised and questioning eyebrow.

Javier just twisted his lips upwards in response and nodded to the side door by the parking lot they were in. "Get the door, please?" he asked nudging the disorderly man forward.

"Sure thing," Kevin said. He moved up to the door with a quick few jogging steps and slid his I.D. through the security system. The door beeped and he yanked it open allowing his partner and the guy to go through. "I'll meet up with you in a minute. I have to get Katherine."

The disorderly man's shoulders tensed at the name and he swung his head toward Kevin. Javier's hand moved up quickly and he smacked him in the back of the head, making him turn his eyes forwards again. The look on Javier's face was amusing, lips pursed in a frown and eyes narrowed.

Kevin smiled as he looked at him for a moment. Javier pushing the man down the hallway to booking had Kevin shaking himself back to reality and he turned away from his partner. Moving towards the front offices and out to the lobby, Kevin looked around the nearly empty space. The floor was empty but for an elderly man hobbling out of the building. The benches were completely empty. The front desk held one officer who was scribbling something down on a piece of paper, eyes turned away from the room.

Loping over to the desk, Kevin leaned his forearms on it and waited for the man to look up at him. "Hey Josh, you see a woman come in here?" he asked, jerking his head back towards the benches.

Josh glanced in the general direction of the head swing and nodded his head. "Yeah sure. She came, looked around, and took off. Was that your jacket around her?" he asked with a grin. "Don't you know not to bring your dates to work?" Josh joked lightly, patting Kevin's shoulder.

"She's not a date…" Kevin turned and looked back towards the doors then bounded away from the desk. He was hoping that maybe she didn't make it very far yet. Maybe she couldn't get a cab.

10 A.M. Sunday- Case 16 days cold

"I'm mostly upset about the jacket, Javi," Kevin said pulling into the parking lot of work.

Javier shook his head. "Whatever man, you seemed pretty upset about losing her, not the jacket." He opened up the car door as soon as the car was stopped enough to climb out of. Jumping out, he shrugged his own jacket closer.

Kevin watched him with a confused frown that darkened his blue eyes. "What's it matter anyway, even if I did like her?" Kevin asked. There was no way he actually did. It wasn't red hair and a smile that he thought of laying in bed last night; no, his thoughts had consisted of deep tan skin and rich brown eyes. He shook his head lightly, shutting the car door and jogged to catch up with his partner.

"Just forget it. I don't even know why we're still arguing over this." Javier opened up the door to the building and held it open for Kevin. "Did you get the manuscript from Castle? I'd like to read what he's getting our characters into…"

Looking over his shoulder at Javier, Kevin grinned a little. "Thought you weren't interested in reading about crime in your time off?" he asked falling back enough to bump his elbow into his partner's arm. He watched Javier fall inches off kilter and try to hide a smirk.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Javier just shrugged. "Well, Castle writes good stuff. Who could pass up that sex scene between him and-" Javier cut himself short and made a choking-cough sound as he turned his eyes very quickly to his shoes.

"Between Castle and Becket?" Kevin finished for him and looked over at his suddenly blushing partner. This was a new facet of Javier that Kevin hadn't seen before. The man wasn't one to be prude or bashful. "I wonder if it's from personal experience." Turning his eyes back to where they were walking Kevin stopped himself from running right into Kate Becket and he made a strangled-gagging noise. "Uh, hi, um- Becket…h-how was your night?" he asked forcing a large smile and wide innocent eyes.

She just glared and smacked his chest with a book. "Shut it, Ryan. And you're welcome. _And_ no, it's not personal experience." She turned away from the two and plopped down in her chair, turning on her computer.

Kevin looked down into his hands and gaped at what sat in them. It was a hard cover of the book about Raley and Ochoa. "How did you get this?" he asked looking back at up at her. He saw her smile and she remained silent. He looked over at Javier with a raised eyebrow and held up the book so that the cover was visible.

Javier laughed and snatched it from him. "Thanks man, I knew you'd come through."

"Hey!" Kevin exclaimed and lunged for the book. His fingers breezed by the bottom of it as Javier lifted it higher. Straightening up and standing in front of the Hispanic detective, Kevin sized up how he was going to wrestle the book back. Fortunately the office was mostly empty so only Becket would be there to yell at them for roughhousing. He lunged suddenly, with flailing arms and practically jumped Javier.

Javier held out an arm, setting it firmly against the Irish cop's chest and pushing him back. His other arm was outstretched away from them both, keeping it as far from his partner as he could. They grappled for a few minutes ending with Kevin putting in Javier in an arm-bar against his own desk.

Snatching the book back, Kevin whooped triumphantly and took his seat, hovering over the book as he opened the first page and started to read it. "Don't worry, I read fast." He was sure Javier was about to spout some smart response but the three detective's pagers went off.

Becket was to her feet quickly, sticking her gun and badge on her belt. "Let's go, guys." She picked up car keys from her desk and tossed them up in the air, catching them in her other hand.

Kevin stood, tossing the book already forgotten on the desk top. He eyed Javier grabbing his own gear and took a deep breath. He didn't want either of his partners to notice the sunken look he was trying desperately to put away under some semblance of a straight face. Since his sister's murder, new cases meant to him that someone was about to go through the same grief he was. The stoic look he normally managed was there with the thoughts that he was going to close the case and give the family a sense of closure that he had yet to find.

Moving after the two of them, Kevin took in another deep breath and settled his nerves quickly. Of course, his nerves were far gone when he got to the crime scene. As Javier, Kate and he gathered around an all too familiar scene with Katherine's body as the center piece, Kevin could feel the other two's eyes on him. He stood immobile, staring down at the red hair fanned about and the rose petals, dropped from the full bloomed roses lying carelessly on her chest. His head was spinning with the colors and scents of the scene, images of memories and nightmares flooding and barraging his mind's eye. "Javi…" He breathed out, seeking some strength, something to ground him.

Lani was crouched by the body of the young woman and slowly reached forward for something white tucked under the three roses. It was a letter and it had a name scrawled in neat, loopy hand writing. "Kevin Ryan," she read and turned her eyes quickly to Becket. She raised an eyebrow, holding the letter partially outward in some purgatory between her and Kevin.

Becket nodded her head forward once and turned her eyes on the man. Kevin stood with furrowed brow and a tightly set jaw. He reached out slowly for the letter and clasped his trembling fingers around it. Pulling it to him, he seemed to become steadier in his handlings as he unfolded the rectangular piece of paper. A few rose petals fell from its middle and he brushed them aside to get to the writing.

_Detective Kevin Ryan,_

_It's nice to play with you again. It's been so long since Karen's death._

_I felt it was time to reconnect. I saw you the other night, being so_

_helpful to this woman here. I just think, if you have time to help her_

_out maybe you aren't giving our game enough attention. Perhaps,_

_I thought, you needed more to work with. I hope this enough to get you_

_back in the game, Detective._

_V.A. _

Kevin's hands started to shake as he read the letter, reread it, and read it a third time. He stared at his name, at "game" and at the signature. "Javi…this is- he said…" Kevin was not overly willing to let go of the letter but Javier clasped his fingers around the top edge of it and pulled gently. Kevin let it go, allowing Javier to read it over for himself. "A game, man. He called it all a game." Kevin's voice was steadily growing louder. "It's someone's life. Mine, my sisters, not a fucking game!"

A camera flashed from the far side of the yellow tape and Javier turned looking over at the news crew standing there. Javier stepped in front of Kevin, keeping between him and the cameras. "Yeah, I know." He put a hand on Kevin's shoulder, squeezing it gently and keeping close to his partner.

Becket moved over to the two of them and looked very hard on Kevin. "You shouldn't be working this." Her statement was simple but it sent Kevin into a frenzy.

His blue eyes went wide and sharp. "Yes, I should be. My name is on that letter. This is personal and I need to be a part of it." Kevin's hands were clenched at his sides and shaking with his intense anger.

"You shouldn't be working it for just that reason. It's too close, too personal. Montgomery will say that same thing," Becket said folding her arms over her chest. "You know as well as I that this case has taken a very dangerous turn. With your emotional attachment to the events, it would be risky to let you continue in the investigation." She sounded like a boss, detached from her personal feelings on this.

Kevin's face was falling, his fists were unclenching and his breathing was slow. He looked at the body of the girl then turned half around to Javier. Pain and confusion sat in his azure eyes and he was seeking comfort in the depths of earthy warmth that made up Javier Esposito's eyes. If anyone could see how badly he needed to do this, it would be his partner. The man would stand up for him and help Kevin stay on this case. "Esposito," he said in a soft but steady voice.

Javier looked between Kevin, the body and Becket. "Kate, the letter was addressed to him." He ran a hand along the back of his neck, feeling fidgety. "I think you should let him stay on the case. He'll just go around us and find something out for himself anyway. I know you're not dim; he's been following the case since it went cold anyway."

Kate heaved a frustrated sigh and cocked her hip outward as she looked away from the scene and thought. Another car pulling up dragged all three of their attentions' away from the girl's body and to the road beyond the yellow tape. Castle was jogging over, this time minus the normally large curious smile. Kate had warned him of the situation in a text. "All right, but the moment I think you're compromising this case _or_ yourself, I'm pulling you off of it. And you owe me; Montgomery is going to have a pay day with me when we get back."

Kevin watched Castle come to a stop next to him. Looking slightly up at the man Kevin offered an "I'm all right" half smile and looked back at the body. "I'll stay with Lani and get all the details here," he offered quickly before Kate or Javier could send him off to get statements from those around or to case the surrounding area. He wanted to be right here, with Katherine, with the immediate scene. He heard Javier shifting behind him and Castle moving over to where Becket was standing but kept his gaze on what Lani was starting to do now that the quick drama had been dealt with.

"Esposito, you and Castle want to see about witnesses and what not?" Becket asked tearing her gaze from Kevin.

"Mhm," Javier murmured taking a few steps back, not yet able to take his eyes from his partner.

"Wait!" Kevin spun around on his heel and took a few quick steps towards Javier. "The letter, give it to me."

Javier tightened his grip on the letter and leveled a very calculative look on Kevin. He wasn't so sure he should give it up. Kevin was suddenly giving him a very tense but collected look as he held his hand very steadily out towards Javier. Reluctantly, slowly, Javier handed over the piece of paper with Kevin Ryan's name on it and watched him take it.

Snatching the paper, Kevin grabbed a plastic baggie from the kit next to Lani and stuffed the paper in it. Looking at the baggie you could still see every letter on the page, the swirling writing sitting pristine and mocking the crime scene. Kevin felt his breath sticking in his chest, felt his body running cold as his focused on the job at hand, and had he been a weaker person, he probably could have curled up and cried.


	5. Fine Print

A.N. – I re-read Kevin's blog with my roomie and she found his sister's names being, Karen and Stacey so I'm going to change "Karli" with Karen. I'll get around to fixing the other names asap.

2:16 P.M. Sunday – Case 16 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan sat at his desk, eyes absorbing the words in his notebook, teething at his bottom lip. The sound of footsteps approaching his desk didn't draw his attention away from the recent murder notes or the letter he'd yet to relinquish to evidence. Of course, they couldn't just take it from him if he didn't sign off for it, so he knew he had all the time he wanted to look at it. At the incessant clearing of a throat, Kevin finally looked up from his shaky-looking handwriting. _Damn…_ he should have looked up earlier. Montgomery stood next to him, arms folded tightly over his chest and mouth turned deeply upside down as he looked at his agent.

"Yes, sir?" Kevin asked flipping the notebook shut and setting it aside for the moment.

Montgomery took in a deep breath and shifted his weight before beginning to talk. "Ryan, this case has become something you shouldn't be involved in. I'm taking you off the case, but we'll keep you updated. Take some time off, maybe talk to a counselor again." He was staring down at Kevin with eyes that dared argument on this decision.

Kevin pushed his seat out to turn and more fully face his Chief. He'd subtly picked up a pen and was flicking it between his fingers as he thought of how to respond. Standing up and pulling in a substantial amount of air to his lungs he looked up with furrowed brows and wordlessly gaped for another moment. The words were there, but he needed the courage to argue with the Chief. "Respectfully-"

"Detective, don't push it. Just take the time and get your life back together." Montgomery started to turn away.

"Respectfully," Kevin started in louder, "I'd like to point out that sixteen days after you called Karen's case cold another murder appeared very clearly addressed to me. I _am_ involved in this no matter how much you'd rather me not be. My life is where it should be, Chief. Taking me away from the people that keep it that way…" He looked down, his voice failing him and he felt as if his courage and argument was starting to dry up. Kevin couldn't believe that the case had been suddenly ripped back open like this and he couldn't walk away from it now.

"I understand how you feel about this, Ryan but I can't allow you to stay on this. There is an obvious threat to you and a detail will be put on you." Montgomery's voice softened but he didn't stop walking away this time to hear any more of Kevin's protests. The door to his office thumped shut on the conversation.

Kevin flopped down in his chair and huffed out a groan. He wasn't sure what to do, if he should follow to Montgomery's office and argue, if he should find Javier and tell him what happened or if he should just go back to Javier's flat and collapse into some mindless television for the next year and half. Grinding his teeth and picking up that pen again, he twirled it around in his fingers and thought on the situation, coming to a grinding halt in conclusion. Fortunately, Kate, Rick and Javier walked in to pull him from some serious self-deprecating and possibly suicidal thoughts involving tracking down the killer solo.

"Kev?" Javier asked walking over and perching himself on the corner of Kevin's desk. "You good?" he questioned softly, sure that the answer wasn't going to be good.

"No, I'm not good." All three were surprised at the quick admission from the man. "Montgomery pulled me from the case. I'm getting a detail and a serious recommendation to go to the counselor soon." He tossed the pen across his desk and looked up into the warm coffee-with-a-touch-of-milk eyes of his partner. Kevin gave him a frown and opened his mouth as if to speak again before shutting it into a grinding of teeth.

Beckett surprised Kevin by placing a hand on his shoulder and speaking up. He hadn't even realized she'd been standing that close to him. "I'll talk Montgomery about keeping you on the case. You may dress elegantly, but a woman's speech is always better." She offered him a smile that broke with a knowing sadness and made Kevin's heart skip a beat from the reassurance in the joking.

Kevin nodded to her, not sure how to respond verbally. He pulled the chair back to the desk and put his head in his hands. "You think she can do it?" he asked once she'd walked into the office.

"Yeah, man. Of course Beckett can." The sound of a slight smile rested in Javier's voice.

"Come on, Ryan, Kate can talk anyone into anything," Castle said. "We'll back you up, too." Castle took up the seat by Becket's desk, turning the chair to face Kevin. The concern in his voice was obvious despite trying to sound sure for the detective. It was the father in him coming out. "Montgomery's just worried you'll do something like try and shoot me again." He grinned and the concern was effectively hidden this time.

Kevin wasn't sure how, but Castle had drawn a laugh from him. "Hey, you had a gun. You looked pretty guilty, Castle and I'm not the only one who thought so."

"You were the only one that shouted out nasty names and fired a weapon at me." Castle gave a look of high eyebrows and tightly pursed lips, like you'd give a five year old caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Then I'm bringing up the point that you liked the names Javi and I rattled off for perps. You're lucky I went with one low on the list." Kevin still had a small smile on his lips, the feeling of defeat he'd been cradling moments ago drifting away from him.

"Yeah he could have called you pipe-head, piss head, orc, creep," Javier said with a grin and waited for Kevin to jump in.

"Crook, knuckle head, chuckle head," Kevin added very aware that no matter the order of the list, they had it memorized. The list was a result of boredom after too many hours of Madden had made it less than palpable.

"Chud, turd, destro, scum," Javier continued.

"Skeksi, slicko-"

"All right guys, come on now." Beckett pulled up next to them and was staring at Kevin. "What is a 'Skexy' anyway?"

Kevin looked at her blankly for a moment, as if she'd asked a stupid question. "Dark Crystal, by Jim Henson. Skeksis were the creepy bad guys of the movie."

Beckett cocked an eyebrow and uttered an "uh huh" before shaking her head. "Anyway, I've got you back on but there are conditions." She paused and looked at him a moment, gauging how he was taking it.

"All right…" he watched her intently, not backing down despite the careful tone she was using about 'conditions'.

She nodded and kept her eyes on Kevin while she talked. "You're to stick beside either Javier or I at all times. There is no running off alone even if you think you're seconds from catching the killer. All ideas are passed by _me_ first. I don't want you and Javier running off to take anyone down on your own. It's the whole cavalry on this one, got it?" she asked.

Kevin nodded, not pulling his eyes from Kate's yet. "Yes, thank you Beckett."

She smiled a warm, almost motherly smile, and Kevin felt like he was being parented by two very sexually-awkward-with-each-other parents. "Well, I know a lot about unsolved personal cases." A brief flash of pain flickered over her eyes and she turned towards her own desk. "All right, let's compare notes. We need to find a lead or some direction at least."

Javier took up a seat at his desk and Castle kept his place in the chair by Beckett's desk. It was Kevin who spoke up first, "I need to get this signed over for printing and what not. Do I need an escort to the lab?" he asked with a playful note in his voice as he pointed to the letter on his desk.

Beckett just gave him a glare. "Yeah, Esposito go with him. Just for that, I'll make sure you have a tail even into the restroom."

Kevin scoffed and got up, snatching up the letter in the baggie and looking at Javier. "Sorry man, looks like you're being punished for something. What did you do to Beckett? You didn't ask her about…" he glanced at her and then back to his partner and mouthed, "the bikini question".

"Ah, right, letter to the lab. It's important, let's go," Javier said grabbing Ryan's wrist, dragging him towards the lab and away from a complicated situation with Beckett.

A genuine laugh escaped Kevin as he allowed himself to be dragged away. He also managed to only trip once in the process of avoiding stepping on the back of Javier's heels. "You can let go, man. Beckett's not following and I'm right behind you," Kevin said tugging back his arm and feeling Javier's warm hand slipping away from him. The warmth bled out slowly from his wrist as he and his partner pattered down the stairs.

"I can't believe you were going to rat me out like that!" Javier said with a pout evident on his face. It was the kind of pout that flared his nostrils and tightened his lips in a purse of lines.

Kevin glanced at that face and looked down almost immediately when the thought, _cute_, crossed his mind. He shouldn't be thinking that after their little encounter, after so recently getting kicked out by Jenny, or when he was so wrapped up in this case. But there it was. Shaking himself mentally, Kevin shrugged. "Oh come on, I wouldn't leave you to them alone. I'd have found a way out of it," he said stepping up to nudge Javier's arm with his elbow.

"Hmph," Javier huffed and glanced at him. Kevin offered a smile to Javier which made him loosen up and smile back. "All right, while we have time can we talk a second?" he asked pausing on the stairs.

Kevin pulled up short and looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. Leaning back on the railing he nodded and watched Javier for a moment. He wondered immediately if this was going to be the, 'there are too many complications, I need the apartment for just me, we'll find you another place' conversation. It had came quickly if it was, but then Kevin had been a bit of a burden and now a killer was targeting, or at least taunting, him so Javier had every reason to want distance. "Yeah, go ahead," he said with a fake confidence that didn't betray his fear of being left alone again.

Leaning back against the wall opposite Kevin, Javier took in a breath long enough to lunge into a flow of words, "Well with this guy after you I'm just worried about things, you know? Even having Beckett or me with you all the time what about at our place? Maybe we should get a detail out there, too."

That wasn't what Kevin had expected and so he didn't have a quick response to Javier's fears. He stood there, mouth slightly agape, staring like an idiot at the Hispanic. "Uh, um- right I mean that makes sense. I guess if you want, I mean- shit Javier, I thought you were going to say you wanted me out!" The laugh was almost frantic and the breath that followed was sucked in sharply.

"No! Kev, I can't make it much clearer than I have. I'm here for you, you're my partner." Javier stuffed his hands in his pockets and yanked his shoulders upwards in a dismissive manner. "You'd do the same for me."

Kevin watched him briefly and nodded in agreement. "You're right. I think before we go too far with this we should get this letter to the lab, yeah?" He held up the bagged note with his name scrawled at the bottom.

"Good point," Javier said and started back down the rest of the stairs.


	6. Sinking Kisses

4:32 A.M. Monday- Case 17 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan couldn't sleep any longer. He'd been fighting in and out of nightmares since he laid down at ten o'clock last night. Now, Kevin couldn't handle even thinking about slipping back down into visions of his sister, the woman on the street, or the note which was covered in blood in his dream. He pressed the remnants of sleep from his eyes with the heels of his hands before attempting to climb out of the bed. Kevin snatched up his shirt off of the floor and pulled it over his head before walking out to the living room.

The apartment was silent in the navy-blue dark of the early morning. Kevin was thankful for this as he was not in the best emotional state of being. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but the small confines of the guest room were too close for his already cluttered mind. He chose to pace, seeing as it kept his body as occupied as his state of mind. There was room for pacing, behind the couch in that sort of empty useless space between an apartment's living room and the dining/kitchen area. It wasn't even enough to be called a hallway… His hands felt awkward hanging there so he wrapped his arms around himself and tucked his fingers under his arms. That helped a little.

Kevin had always been a more emotional person, or rather, a more emotional guy. Though he'd been good looking enough to fly through high school with the popular crew, he'd been the pretty boy not the manly athlete. Even his mother had described him as more sensitive than either of his sisters. Right now, that blanketing feel of emotion was creeping back up. It started low in his stomach- probably what woke him. But a feeling of cold, restricting hands moved from his lower stomach to strangle his lungs, throat and chest. Kevin decided pretty quickly that breathing was not all that overrated in the least. Not being able to breathe was too consuming and it was giving him a quick headache.

He needed to sit down or he might fall down, Kevin thought. The couch was close enough…barely. Falling onto it he was slowly coming to a realization. Kevin had not actually had a break down about his sister's case, not a real one. At the original murder it had been anger that had filled him and kept him from tears and grief. At the funeral Kevin had to be the strong one for their sister, Stacey, and so he'd tucked his grief into a little pocket in his chest away from his heart. Back at home Jenny hadn't been open to a break down. She'd remind him that he was a strong man who had a job to do and so he hadn't cried with her either. Then the case became overwhelming, filling his thoughts with revenge, and there wasn't room in his mind for actual grief. He hadn't given over to sadness; Kevin had been stuck in a perpetual circle of negation, unable to cry.

Then it hit him all of a sudden, too sudden to stop. He balked at the stark image of Karen lying dead in his mind's eye then shuddered with a heaved sob. Tears were pulsing from his glassy blue eyes, his arms were tucked around his middle gripping at his shirt, and his breathing was released from the taut hold in a quick thrust of inhales and exhales. Kevin tried to quickly quiet himself before his partner came out to see Kevin breaking down on his couch. He couldn't hold anything back though, no matter how he set his teeth against one another, his sobs were pulled from him loudly. It was like some invisible force reached down and grabbed hold of all of the pocketed grief and yanked it back out of his throat. Kevin started rocking, trying his damndest to push it all back in, to stuff it in the pocket in his chest and zipper it away forever.

Abrupt yet easy hands wrapped themselves around Kevin's upper arms and when he raked his gaze upwards from his lap he found himself staring through a curtain of water into milked-coffee eyes. Javier, damn it. "Kev?" his voice was swollen in sleep, gravel grating each syllable. "Hey, man, breathe for me, huh? Come on, take a breath. It's going to be okay; I'm right here for you."

Javier had wedged his way in between Kevin's knees and drawn himself up close to Kevin, as he knelt before him. Warmth eased between the two of them where their bodies were melted together. Kevin could feel Javier's breath, still heavy with mint-toothpaste, playing over the skin of his face as his partner tried to keep their eyes linked. "Javi," Kevin coughed out between the thrusting breaths. "I'm sorry…I- my chest hurts," was all he could muster from the thundering thoughts.

Javier's face was tight, fighting back anxiety as he held Kevin. The thumbs running over Kevin's arms in circles were leaving the quickest trails of warmth with coolness biting just after they moved away. "I know, Kev. I know." Then Kevin was pulled forward and into Javier's whole body. He nearly had his legs wrapped around Javier's thighs.

Kevin tucked his wet face into the crease of Javier's neck, where the collarbone stood out slightly. It was warm there and smelled like a mix of rich coffee and some spicy cologne. Though his tears were not yet done flooding his cheeks, Kevin's chest wasn't hurting so much. The comfort of arms, body heat and whispered nothings kept him from the physical pain of the breakdown. At this point, his dignity was no longer a question. Obviously, Javier didn't think any less of Kevin or he wouldn't be holding Kevin so tenderly. Kevin fisted his hands into the back of Javier's t-shirt to make sure they weren't going to be moving for a bit.

The restricting feeling in his chest cavity was moving lower again, rolling through his stomach before slowly dissipating and leaving behind a dull ache throughout Kevin's body. He couldn't pull back from Javier's arms yet and since his partner wasn't jumping back as if repulsed by the behavior, Kevin figured that was all okay. He just wasn't ready to give up the comfort of touching another human being while his grief was finally released.

When Kevin's head was settled back to a balanced equilibrium and his breathing was no longer constricted by metaphorical gripping hands, Kevin tightened into himself and loosed his abusive grip from Javier's shirt. He was able to pull back from his partner without the awkward pause, trip up, and sidling backwards that had occurred with most any lover Kevin had ever had. Javier didn't move far, the front of his thighs pressed into the edge of the couch from his kneeling position. He stayed there, staring up at his partner with concern thick in his eyes and the creased lines around his lips.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't, Kev. Don't apologize for that."

"But I am," Kevin said while Javier overlapped-

"I'm not. Don't be stupid, bro. I get it." His finger twitched upward in objection, but he didn't get a chance to raise his hand fully and stop Kevin's words.

"It's weak."

"It's normal." Javier flicked a flash of a grin at Kevin.

"After this long?"

"Have you done this yet? I know you haven't." His brown eyes were dark, like uncrushed coffee beans, no longer the milked-coffee.

"I guess I needed it. I mean with Je-"

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not her."

"Yes, I know that. I like that. You're- well never mind." Kevin blushed.

"You don't want to say it?"

"Nearly ruined things already, I'll keep my thoughts to myself."

"I'd rather you didn't," Javier breathed.

"No, it's not a good idea," Kevin choked.

"I'd like to know. I have a right to know, I'm your partner."

"Exactly!" Kevin threw his hands up with the exclamation and sank further back into the couch. "That's just the reason that I can't."

Kevin had expected argument maybe, pushing from Javier to tell him what was going on. There would be yelling about trust, built up and broken. Maybe Javier would even use their living situation as blackmail. The quick press of heat and skin to his lips was _not_ what Kevin expected. His breathing was stopped again, but this felt much better. Kevin worked his lips back, enjoying the full feel of Javier's lips against his own thin ones. The contrast drew them closer. Kevin allowed his thoughts to cease as he gave into the physical. The smell of Javier so close, the taste of toothpaste and salty tears mingled deliciously on their lips. Dipping his tongue across Javier's lower lip rewarded him with a shock of something warm and masculine- something very Javier.

There was a hand at the back of Kevin's neck, short clipped nails scraping so slightly over the skin at the nape. There was one on his thigh, burning its way through the thin pajama fabric. It all drew him forward and further into his partner. He needed to be closer and his hands found the same twisted place of fabric they'd been moments ago and gripped, pulling him further from his knees. He was sure that if he clenched his hand just a little tighter he would rip the fabric. He really shouldn't do that to Javier's clothes, even if the man needed help every now and again in the fashion department. Ruining clothes wasn't something Kevin liked to do. So he kept his hands steady, not tightening or letting up. He found himself at the edge of the couch, knees bent and heading for the floor, around Javier's crouched form.

Then, just as quickly as it started it was over. Javier broke the kiss with an abrupt jerk of his head backwards and a slight push of Kevin returning him to the engulfing couch cushions. Kevin panted and looked at him, Kevin's hands hanging loosely between them. Javier's hands were rubbing against his own thighs and his eyebrows were in a tight knot above squinting brown eyes. The only sound between them was their breath tearing fast at the still air around them.

"Javier…that was, um, did you mean to do that?" Kevin asked, his face constricting in defined lines of confusion.

"Yes, well no, I mean maybe." Javier shook his head and rocked backwards onto his bare heels. The shift in balance eased tension in his legs and put a few more inches of space between them. "I guess, yeah, I meant to. I mean I went along with it, I started it, didn't I?"

Kevin swallowed his hope in a small gulp and nodded. "Yeah. It was…amazing." Kevin's features darkened immediately. "Well _I_ mean that, for a kiss it was pretty good. You're good at kissing. And this was all just a mistake I'm sure. I started it with breaking down on you. I shouldn't have left the room and dragged you into this and-"

Kevin's words were swallowed by Javier's lips once more. This kiss was quick, a forceful stop of words. When Javier pulled back this time, his hands remained on Kevin's legs and that tender burn was back as, it felt like, Javier's hands tried to burn through the pajamas to get to Kevin's skin. "You really need to learn when to spew and when to shut up. I meant it, and I'm glad you think I kiss good."

"Right," Kevin was struck silent this time at least.

"We should probably talk about what this all means, huh?" Javier was wavering on unsteady legs and tentative words as his eyes flickered back and forth between the bleary blue eyes of his partner.

Kevin nodded, reaching a hand up to push through his wavy brown hair. "Probably a good idea. And this wasn't my fault this time, so-" The trill of notes, indicating Kevin's phone was ringing from the kitchen counter, stopped him. "That's Stacey, her ring tone." He clamored to his feet, brushing past Javier gently so as not to knock him over. Rushing up to the counter he enclosed the phone in quick fingers and pressed the receiver to his ear. "Stacey?" he asked in a rush of breath. His head and heart were pounding as one, thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong. The note had been addressed to him, calling it a game, what if Stacey was seen as just another playing piece? Why didn't he think about this earlier? Damn it…

"Kevin, I um, there's a letter that I got. I was coming down to let Shakespeare outside and it was lying there, on the carpet like someone pushed it under the door." Stacey's voice was slow but shaky; she was trying not to freak out.

"What does it say?" Kevin asked grasping the phone and holding a look of such defined lines and a slanted frown that spoke of his wanting to be able to slip through the phone lines to her.

" 'Dear Stacey, I'd like you to join the game.' What game Kevin? What does he mean?" Stacey was panting heavily now and sounding like Kevin had felt with the invisible hands clenched round his lungs.

He let out an annoyed sound echoing a growl and turned to glance at Javier. Kevin's bright blue eyes held pleading in them and he lifted a hand, waving his partner over. "I need a police detail on Stacey, now. Can you get a hold of the Boston department for me?"

"Yeah, I got it bro," Javier said rushing off presumably to get his phone from his room.

Kevin flicked his eyes around the apartment, half expecting some psychopath to jump out of one of the darkened corners. He noted that the windows were letting in the pre-dawn light and the place wasn't so eerily silent as it had been earlier. Now the soft sound of slow early traffic and actual movement enveloped the house. Thankfully, "Does it say anything else, Stace? Is there a signature?"

"There's more, but what does he mean by 'game'?" she asked and Kevin heard rustling on the other end. Probably lifting the note again.

He didn't want to answer her, didn't want her to worry but she had to know. If there was a possibility that she could be a target, she had to know the intricate details. "There was another body, Stacey. A woman I'd met ended up dead - same scene as - as Karen's. There was a note from the killer this time - addressed to me and calling the murders a game." He waited for a minute, figuring on a quick breakdown from Stacey.

Of course it came in a cadence of both cries and yells. Somehow, Stacey even managed to read the rest of the letter in between curses and objections. The letter definitely outlined a threat to her, details of the case that only the police knew, such as Kevin's letter and that there were three very specific roses- two white and one red. It was all too clear that the killer had grown bored when the case went cold and was upping the ante.

Kevin swore to everything he would win whatever twisted game this guy was playing. "Sis, I need you to calm down. There's a cop on the way over. Are your doors and windows locked?"

Stacey choked through her tears, "Yes, they are."

"Good, good. Just stay on the phone with me and the cops should be there soon, all right? Nothing is going to happen. He's messing with me, not you. This is about him and me." Kevin had meant for those words to be for her…

10:00 A.M. Tuesday- Case 18 days cold

Kevin pulled open his door and stepped into the hall, _smack_ into Javier. There was a warm press of bodies into one another, a quick tangle of legs, and a sharp mingling of breath before they both jumped backwards and muttered meaningless apologies at the same time. Kevin brushed his hands down his thighs, wondering if he should start…that talk. Something needed to be said about their shared moment, the one on the couch.

"I uh- sorry," Kevin coughed out a separate, second apology and let his eyes fall downwards.

"It's fine, bro." Javier moved away quickly, heading further down the hall. He shut himself in the bathroom and out of sight.

_Great…_ Kevin had figured this would all be awkward. He hated when he was correct. Shaking his head, he headed out for the living room, as that had been where he'd intended on going before running smack into Javier. A little mindless television would do him good. He'd spent the majority of Monday on the phone with various police making sure that his sister was taken care of and the letter was sent to their lab team back here. Sometimes having his sister a state over was a pain in the ass. Well, a pain to his nerves was more like it. Flicking on some sitcom he fell into the laugh-reel, barely achieving a smile at the jokes. His fingers kept running back and forth over his phone, eyes flicking to it every few minutes in some tired expectation. Stacey was fine.

11:51 A.M. Tuesday-

"Kev?" Javier poked his head around a corner, looking in at Kevin stretched on the couch. When Kevin looked over at him, he continued. "I'm going out to pick up some food. You want me to bring something back for you?"

With a short nod, "Sure. Anything is fine. The usual I guess." He wasn't particularly hungry but he figured he should eat something.

Javier nodded and disappeared back to his bedroom. Probably to retrieve his wallet. Kevin wondered briefly if he should offer up some cash. _I'll pay him back. I'll get the next round of take out._ He flipped through the channels again, mind not really comprehending what his eyes were taking in. Javier reappeared and stood at the end of the couch where Kevin's head was resting. Cocking his head backwards to look up at his partner, Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Hmm?"

"Pizza okay?" Javier fiddled with the wallet; fingers nearly letting it fall from his tentative grasp.

"Yeah, sounds good." Kevin offered a smile, just a small twitch in the left corner of his mouth really.

12:22 P.M. Tuesday-

Kevin tossed the remainder of a slice of pizza back into the box. It looked pitiful, that half eaten slice; and the detective wondered briefly if Javier would demand he finish at least that piece. When silence filled the air where Kevin had thought a protest would be he glanced over at his partner. He watched Javier finishing up the last bite Javier's slice of pizza. When brown eyes were steadily regarding Kevin he spoke up, "Do you think I should make Stacey come up here? Or would that be too close to the case?" Deep, thoughtful lines were gauged across Kevin's forehead as he swallowed down another bout of anxiety.

Javier offered one of those quick-flick smiles and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I think she'll be fine out there. The dude's obviously workin' here, close to you. Keep Stacey out there. She's got the protection of the cops in Boston while we take care of shit here. We'll bring this guy down, Kev. I promise." The Hispanic was leaning forward, closer to Kevin, and reaching out a hand.

The feel of the burning warmth was on Kevin's leg before Javier's actual hand. It made his insides wriggle delightedly. He knew he was putting off this conversation that needed to happen, but neither of them seemed to want to bring it back up.

"Thanks, Javier." Kevin forced his azure eyes upwards to look at Javier directly. "We should um-"

"Yeah…"

"Here's the thing, these feelings aren't exactly new for me," Kevin heaved out with a whoosh of breath. "I've liked you for some time, but didn't really understand it, man. I guess I thought it was ridiculous or wrong and I didn't want to ruin things. You were- are my best friend Javi and I don't want to lose that," Kevin thought the words sounded too rehearsed, to perfected and cliché and out of a book, or a movie and juvenile and-

Javier smiled. "I get that. I've always been jealous of Jenny. Even Castle noticed. That's why I ragged on you so much about it, because I was upset she was getting attention that _I _wanted." He sat back on the couch, sinking deeper away from Kevin but the emotional tie was made.

Kevin just stared at him for long moments. "You were jealous of her?" Kevin wasn't sure where it came from, but suddenly a crescendo of laughter left him at that thought. He reached out a hand to place on Javier's leg as his body shook with the laughing, trying to reassure his partner he meant no harm by the outburst. It was just ironic, and funny, and damned good to hear Javier say all of that. Kevin tried to reign himself back in, to suck in air and quiet down, but he looked back at Javier and the face had him falling into another roll of laughs.

Sitting across from Kevin, Javier's face was turned upside in frowns and furrowed brows. He looked, to Kevin at least, like the most adorable, pouting, little boy. "What's so funny?" Javier demanded of Kevin, grabbing an abrupt hold on his shoulders and shaking him. "You dumped your feelings on me and I didn't laugh…"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry…" Kevin had to suck in a few deep breaths and keep his eyes on Javier's lips so he didn't start laughing again. "It was just a funny thought to me, I mean obviously. But Jenny kicked me out under the idea that for all I cared, it could be _you_ in my bed. She was jealous of _you_, Javier." He shook his head and looked further down, at Javier's arms. His eyes followed them up to his wrists, up to the hands that were gripping him, to the long, deeply tan fingers curling elegantly around him. Kevin reached up and placed a hand across Javier's wrist. Yes, pale and tan, they didn't clash but rather fit very well together.

"You're laughing because- I don't get you sometimes Kev." Javier shook his head too and eased his grip on Kevin's arms.

Kevin's hands remained on Javier's wrist as he pulled them back. "I'm not all that complicated. I like clothes, I know how to undo an eight-point-knot on stiletto heels, and I'm…" Kevin coughed nervously but forced words upwards from his throat. "And I'm enamored with you."

"Enamored huh?" Javier cocked an eyebrow and a smile. "I think it's my turn to laugh, Mr. Vocab."

"Can we just kiss already?" Kevin's eyes were back to Javier's lips, watching each little movement as he spoke.

"You don't think we're uh, maybe taking this a bit fast? I mean we just-"

Kevin grabbed the back of Javier's neck and pulled him in tightly to his lips. He found Javier quite compliable with the action and they kissed, nipped and licked at one another for long, breathless, minutes. When Kevin absolutely needed to breathe, or risk passing out, he pulled back and looked into milk-coffee eyes. "Absolutely, we're taking this too fast. I'm really fine with that, though."

9:00 A.M. Wednesday- Case 19 days cold

Kevin sat at the conference table alone. His eyes were fixed so intently on the front page of the newspaper that he was nearly sure the image and article would be forever emblazoned on his brain. It was a picture of the crime scene, of him, standing there over her body. Of course, the paper had taken precautions and blurred the image of the body but that didn't matter to Kevin. That image would always be in his memory; right next to Karen's staged murder. The point was this case had made the front page. And why shouldn't it?

Scanning below through the text, Kevin read the quick write up about what Montgomery had told reporters. Kevin hadn't even realized his chief had talked with the media. It made sense though. He caught a quick snippet about his sister's case- _so Montgomery had let the public know it was connected_. Kate's name showed up as lead detective on the case. Kevin Ryan's name was nowhere to be found. That was probably for the better.

He pushed the paper away from himself, sliding it over the table and to the edge. He should be focused on finding some lead or another in this damned case, not worrying over what was printed in the paper. He pulled a stack of files towards him, one of his sister's. It was much easier to go through everything in this room with the large table. He'd brought everything back to work to try and draw some connection. Javier was snooping on his computer while the Kate and Castle were talking with one of the people who'd been near Katherine's crime scene. They were still going to follow up Kevin's absurd idea on the connection of police on similar cases. He really hoped that Javier was just wasting his time and it wouldn't really come through.

_Henry Marcus_. The name stood out on the paper away from the other statements. There was a single sentence attached a line below it:

"_I know who did this- it's happening again. You have to listen to me. It's a game."_

"A game…shit. Javier!" Kevin stood up quickly, knocking his chair backwards with a loud 'crash'. He snatched the paper up and jogged out of the room over to where Javier was starting to stand, worry washing over his features. "Javier, look at this."

Javier held out a hand for the paper and Kevin watched, biting his bottom lip and creasing his eyebrows in on one another. "Henry Marcus… I think we need to take a look at this guy," Javier said looking back up at Kevin with those flared nostrils and jackknifed eyebrows.

"You think it could be him?" Kevin was shifting back and forth between his right and left foot every few seconds.

"Maybe, bro. I've uh…well I've picked somethin' up too, I think. Henry Marcus's name appears in some other cases. Get this," Javier sat back down, laying the statement carefully aside. Kevin moved to hunch over his chair and look at the computer screen. He pressed close to Javier, his arm lying next to Javier's, fingers slightly brushing Javier's on the computer mouse. "He was a cop, went through the same thing with a son. The murder bit. Different flowers though."

Kevin read over the report of the murdered son of Marcus with quick eyes and a quickening pulse. His ears were flushing with a tense, angry excitement. They were getting closer to something. He wasn't sure exactly what, but this was a big coincidence. Sitting on the job as long as he and Javier had, he knew that meant "connection" not "coincidence". He flicked his eyes to Javier. "Got an address on this guy?"

"Looking that up now." Javier dragged the mouse around and pulled up the database. "Might be a few minutes… seems he was let go after his son's murder."

"Suspect?" Kevin asked resisting pulling away from Javier so soon.

"Briefly. They dropped his name pretty quickly, though. He spelled out an airtight alibi."

The computer beeped at them and both men looked at the screen. "Perfect. Let's go talk with him."

"Ah, we have to get a hold of Beckett first." Javier snatched Kevin's hand to keep him from moving away. "I'll call her, you get our stuff around."

Kevin thrust out one curt nod and pulled his hand away from Javier's warm one. The lingering warmth felt nice, reassuring. Things were looking up lately.

(A.N.- has _anyone_ else ever said "get your things around" as meaning "get your stuff together"?)


	7. Killer Collage

11:00 A.M. Wednesday- Case 19 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan would have to remember to thank Beckett for getting permission from the Bronx district to raid Marcus Henry's apartment. Kevin had a hand on his hip, resting on the holster of his gun. Javier was at his right shoulder, close enough Kevin could feel Javier's breath over the back of his neck. It was oddly settling. Beckett was in front of them, knocking on the apartment door. Kevin looked up and down the brightly lit hallway, noting it was small, and escape on anyone's part might be hard.

Kevin's heart was racing as silence met their ears after Beckett's knocking ceased. This could be it; this could be the moment that Kevin would face his sister's killer. His fingers itched across the butt of his gun, arm tensing. Still nothing.

"Police, we have a warrant." Kate's voice was loud and strong. No answer, yet again.

"Javier." Kevin looked over at the man and then at Beckett. "Door?"

Kate shrugged and stepped out of the way, moving to take up position on the opposite side Kevin was on. Their guns were leveled to the floor as they waited. Javier stepped around Kevin, hefted a leg up and smashed into the door near the handle. It made a splintering sound then shook and shuddered open. Javier stepped back as Kate and Kevin hoisted their guns and moved in, eyes searching.

Kevin could feel Javier moving at his back; it lifted his lips into a small grin. He could feel his heart lodged in his throat as he looked around the place. It smelled musty, abandoned. There were not many signs of human life aside from a pizza box growing mold in one corner resting on a coffee table, the intermittent drip-drop of water from a faucet, and the small radio next to a recliner. Slowly, all three lowered their weapons to positions less threatening. "I'll take the back rooms," Kevin said looking down a side hallway to his left.

He toed open the first door and found a bathroom and the source of the dripping. Sink needed fixing. He moved on, gun pointed down at the floor with both hands wrapped about it. He nudged a door on his right with his shoulder, glancing in, and found what looked to be an office space. There were a few folders and a few more loose papers scattered about. A distinct hole in the mess sat, squarely announcing the lack of a laptop. Stepping back out and looking down the hallway, head on, Kevin saw another door. Walking to the door, he found this one fully shut. He had to let go of the gun with one hand to turn the handle.

Pushing it open slowly, Kevin let his gun lead the way in and he froze. There was a bed off to the right, a desk to the left and straight on, between two windows, was a collage of pictures. Kevin sucked in a sharp breath, cringing. He felt his head start to spin. There were pictures of girls, boys, men and women splattered across the wall laced with newspaper articles about murders, missing persons, and suspicious deaths. In spray paint across it all was written, "Game".

Kevin took a few steps forward, tucking his gun back into the holster. His hand moved up to a picture of Karen. It was not a family photo; it was taken from across a street, intruding on her personal life. She was smiling, alive, sitting with a friend at a café. His fingers moved to the article write up of her death. Kevin was standing there, in the crime scene photo, peering down at her, looking lost.

"Kev?" Javier's hand was gently put on Kevin's shoulder, trying to get the man to step away from the plastered wall.

Kevin turned, mouth slightly agape and baby blues wide open. "He's not here, Javier. We missed him. Look at this place- he's gone."

Javier gave Kevin a slight frown, letting milked-coffee eyes stray to the wall. "He'll be back bro. They never leave their trophies. He has no idea we're on to him. He'll be back for this."

"No one's been in here for a good week, Javie." Kevin's shoulders slumped. Turning his back to the wall he brushed past his partner and out of the room. He really didn't want to stay staring at the pictures, one of which was a memory of his.

"Guys!" Kate's voice called from the main area of the apartment.

Kevin led the way back out, hearing the tell-tale footfalls of Javier behind him. "What's up Beckett?" Kevin asked looking around the apartment carefully then back at her, hand resting on the butt of his gun again.

"Found this on the counter." Kate held up a newspaper clipping, holding it out for them to take a look at.

Kevin handled it greedily, eyes soaking up each detail and coming to the realization, then consequently the denial, of what it meant. The clipping was a picture of Katherine's murder, of when Javier stepped up beside Kevin protectively. Javier's head was circled furiously with red pen. Kevin looked over at his partner who stood solidly, arms folded over his chest, and lips pursed tightly as he looked at the picture. 'Impenetrable' the stance said. 'Vulnerable' baby blue eyes said.

"Javier, look man-"

"No, Kevin. I'm not backing out of this. As long as you're working this I am, too." Javier tightened his arms over his chest.

Kevin glanced at Kate, his eyebrows raised in concern. His eyes slid to the front door and she nodded softly before striding out, leaving them alone. "Javie, I've lost too much from this case already. If you…" Kevin looked down at his feet, hands smoothing his pants and then tugging at his vest.

Javier stepped up to him and put a hand to the side of his face. Javier's hand slowly moved up his jaw to curve tan fingers around his pale neck at the base of his hairline. Javier's thumb smoothly caressed across his high cheekbone. "Don't push me away, Kevin. This involves _both_ of us and I'm not leaving your side, you got me?"

Leaning into the touch, Kevin rubbed his face along the strong hand and let his eyes fall shut. His face relaxed and his shoulders went slack. Heat was radiating from Javier's hand and Kevin looked back into those soft brown eyes. "Yes, yeah, all right. You're right."

"Good." Javier looked over Kevin's shoulder then leaned in and brushed his lips over Kevin's. "Come on, we should go talk to the building's owner."

"Mmm," Kevin's murmur was not really in reference to talking with anyone. His eyes were fluttering a little as he felt the warmth of a kiss drift away. "Right, good idea." Baby blues snapped open fully and he straightened his vest again as Javier pulled his hand from Kevin's face.

11:45 A.M.

"Whaddya mean you can't find him?" Javier was leaning on the counter, face tightened angrily as he looked at the kid behind the desk.

Kevin watched with an eyebrow raised. Kate stepped up and lightly pushed the Hispanic aside. "Look kid, I know this is probably just a part time job for you, some cash to blow on whatever, but I need you to work with me here, okay? Put that phone away and pay attention or I'll let Esposito here," she cocked her head towards Javier. "Drag you down to lock up to sit for a few hours."

The kid's eyes went a little wide as he looked at Javier then back to Kate. "Yeah, fine. Sean runs this place but he's like never here, ya know? Don't need to be. He's got this guy that does the rent collecting. Comes in once a month like just fer that."

"Doesn't," Kevin muttered under his breath. The kid's eyes still snapped over to him.

"What was that?" he asked puffing up.

"'Doesn't need to be'; English, kid." Kevin cocked one eyebrow upwards and stared hard at him.

"Whatever, like I said. Sean's never here. Got his number, though." The kid ducked under the counter and the three detectives tensed, their hands shifting subconsciously to their weapons. He came back up with a notebook, seeming not to notice the tense shift in the atmosphere. "Look, his cell phone number. Can't say he'll answer but what ev."

Kate twisted her mouth skeptically but yanked the notebook around to look at the number. "Ryan, get this number… 607-742-0114."

Kevin grabbed his phone and typed the numbers into it. "Got it. Call it now?" he asked looking up at her with an open grin. He couldn't help but flick his eyes to Javier for a long pause. His partner was staring rather intently at him, at his mouth, then down to his hands. Kevin felt a shiver run up his spine at the feel of visual scrutiny. He forced his eyes back to Kate and took a breath to ward off anymore spine-tingling shocks.

"Yeah, once we're outside. I need some air." Kate pushed open the front door of the apartment's lobby and all three detectives inhaled deeply.

The chill of New York at this time may have caused some shivering, but it wasn't that stale, unwashed smell of the apartment complex. Kevin pulled his phone up and hit the "send" button. He stuffed it to his ear and waited. It went to voice mail.

"_You got Sean. If I owe ya, I'll get to ya. If you owe me, I'll get to _you_ too. Leave a message."_

"Real charmer this one," Kevin said in a hushed voice. "Sean!" Kevin pulled out a false tone. "Hey man, got your number from the kid here, Lewis or whatever. Gimme a call, I got something you might like." He clicked the phone off and tossed a grin at Kate and Javier. "Think we'll hear back from him?"

"I think we need to leave a car out here in case he wants to kill Lewis," Kate said shaking her head and walking towards the car.

"So what now, fearless leader?" Javier asked following after her.

Kate shrugged her shoulders and looked back at Javier then set her eyes on Kevin. "What do you guys think?"

"Well, we at least need that car to sit and wait for Marcus." Kevin pulled open the back door of the car and climbed in. Once Javier was in the passenger's seat and Kate the driver's, he picked back up again. "Back to the precinct to run names? Maybe get a clue as to where this Sean guy hangs at?"

"Good enough for now. Not much else to go off of. And Javier?" Kate looked over at him as she fired up the car.

"Uh huh?" he asked putting a lot of attention to his seatbelt.

Kate waited for him to look at her. "You're on watch with Kevin. Neither of you take off alone."

"Fine." Javier turned his eyes to the road.

1:00 A.M. Thursday- Case 20 days cold

Kevin lay in the guest room bed, staring up at the ceiling. He and Javier had decided that they should try and keep their growing relationship as simple as possible until _after_ they got Karen's murderer. It would be safer that way, easier. Of course, the little round of 'battle of the tongues' they'd had on the couch a few hours ago had been nice. Kevin found that the taste of Javier was rich and masculine, that his hands were demanding, not soft and fleeting. Kevin found he liked the feel of a man versus that of the soft giving feel of a woman. Or perhaps he just preferred the feel of Javier over that of Jenny.

Sucking in a deep breath and letting it out as a huff up at the white ceiling, Kevin felt restless. He could hear the soft snores of Javier just down the hall- both of their doors must be open then- and Kevin couldn't settle his mind. While things were slow with Javier and Kevin's relationship, the job was just the opposite. It came in spurts for cops. Things could go from a long, slow week of too much coffee drinking and stacks of paper work to rapid car chases and hoofing it around the streets chasing rumors and getting no sleep the next week.

Pushing the comforter off, Kevin got up and wandered through the apartment. He paced nearly every inch of the living room and kitchen before he decided he needed more space. It was crammed in here and it left him little room for thinking. Going back to his room he pulled on a pair of jeans, stuffed his gun into the waistband at the small of his back, and threw on a zip-up sweatshirt. He stood in the middle of the hallway for a moment, listening for sounds from Javier's room. His partner still slept soundly.

Kevin knew this was a bad idea, knew that if anyone found out they'd probably tie him up and toss him in a locked interrogation room for the rest of this case, but he couldn't sit here much longer. Besides, he was a trained Detective and he had his weapon. He'd keep his eyes open and he wouldn't do anything stupid. A time or two around the block wouldn't be harmful. Getting to the front door he pushed it open and stepped out, making sure the key Javier had given him was in his pocket, and then he shut the door silently.

Outside was a bit cooler than he'd anticipated and the wind nipped through his sweatshirt, but Kevin didn't mind much. It was open and he could move. Walking to the street across from the apartment building, Kevin approached the unmarked police car. The door opened and a tall man with dark hair stepped out. "Everything okay?" he asked as his eyes moved up to one of the windows of Javier's place.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just needed to get some air." Kevin looked off to his right, towards the diner and its small side street. "I'm just going to go around the block. It takes about five minutes."

The man looked like he was going to argue. His attention played over the street, followed Kevin's line of sight, and back the other way where Kevin would come back out from. "Five minutes. If you're ten seconds over I'm calling it in."

"All right. Thanks." Kevin gave a little wave and moved off towards the diner. The front street was open, clean, and easy to move around. As he turned the corner between the apartment building and the diner, he entered the side street. It was narrower, dumpsters pressed in from the right side near the side door of the diner.

Kevin breathed in the city air, catching scents of a pizzeria, the sudsy scent of the Laundromat around the corner, and the tang of garbage in the alleyway. It was home, though some people would complain about the cramped feel but it was comfortable to him. The noise of the city was to him what a babbling brook was to others. Peace of mind.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets and moving down the side street, Kevin lost the uncomfortable feel of the cold as his thoughts took hold. Kevin and the team were drawing closer; they had new leads and new evidence. Beckett and Castle were working their best to help Kevin out with this. Javier- God, Javier was right there with him. If this all wasn't occurring around a murder, Kevin would be a pretty happy person. He kicked at a lose can, knocking it closer to the dumpsters just ahead of him.

Of course, most of their lives took place around murders. Kevin's left shoulder brushed against the wall of the apartment building as he thought about just how personal these murders were. Kevin couldn't believe Stacey and Javier had been included in the new threats. He couldn't believe that somewhere out there, someone was considering this a _game. _Kevin stopped walking a moment, leaned against the wall across from the door of the diner. He let his head rest on the hard brick and shivered a little, barely taking note of the physical.

The sound of quick footsteps to his left, at the end of the street he'd been walking towards, made Kevin push off of the wall and stick his hand to his lower back where the gun sat. His fingers curled around it, thumb stroking the safety lock. A man with hunkered shoulders, a long trench coat, and dark boots was padding along quickly in his direction. Kevin slid further from the wall of the building he was next to and watched intently.

The man stopped about a yard away and looked up. "Detective Kevin Ryan?" he asked in a rocky baritone.

"Who's asking?" Kevin pulled the gun free of his pants but not yet aiming it towards the man.

"A friend, I know what's going on with you. I know who's doing it; you _have_ to listen to me. The others didn't and they paid for it." The man's eyes were watery gray, dull and punctuated with dark bags underneath.

Kevin shifted his feet and let the gun move around his hip into view. "Marcus Henry?" The hand not wrapped around the gun was twitching in anticipation and nervousness.

"I didn't do it, I'm a victim, like you. I've been following this guy." Marcus tilted his head a little, gray eyes flickering to the gun; he took an instinctive step backwards. "Look, my license." He slowly reached into his pocket.

Lifting the gun just slightly, blue eyes sharp on the pocket the hand disappeared into, Kevin sucked in a sharp, untrusting breath. "Slowly…"

Out of the pocket came the hand and a worn leather wallet. The man tossed it at Kevin's feet. Bending his knees, keeping the gun poised and at the ready, Kevin lifted the leather compartment and flipped it open. He hefted the gun upwards more aggressively, and then looked down at the card in the clear plastic section. Marcus Henry he was. "Right, how does knowing you're Marcus make me believe you didn't do it? Your apartment was covered in pictures and news clippings."

"Just- they're his. I took the clippings from the papers whenever they seemed to be his work. The pictures- I found where he was staying. Got a shot in the shoulder to prove that, but also got those photos." Marcus inched forward a little, holding out his hand and looking at the wallet.

Kevin pulled himself back a couple steps and shook his head, back and forth, just once. "Stay there," Kevin said firmly. His heart was thumping loudly and his hands were sweating a little. Kevin's eyes were scouring up and down the man before him, his eyebrows scrunched together. "Why should I believe that?"

"I'm not the killer Kevin. They released me-"

"Everyone makes mistakes." Kevin shifted again, stuffing the wallet under his arm and switching hands on his gun to wipe one down his jeans. He replaced it, wanting a steady shot if he needed it.

"The same thing happened to me, Kevin. My brother. The case went cold and my partner was taken out. Rose petals, right?" The man still had his hand out, switching his eyes from the wallet, to the gun, to Kevin's blue eyes.

Kevin pursed his lips, glanced around behind the man and risked a quick look back over his shoulder. "Yeah," he said rounding back on Marcus again. "Rose petals. You said in a report something about a game?"

Henry Marcus nodded slowly, took another step forward and watched as Kevin eased the gun down just a touch. "Yes, the killer thinks this is all a game. He's got a vendetta against cops, something went wrong for him. I didn't get the whole story, but pieces started springing up." Marcus let his hand slowly fall like he was giving up hope on the wallet.

Kevin tossed it to him and watched him fumble to catch it. It gave Kevin just enough time to side step again and get into a more open area of the side street. He was confident the cops around the corner wouldn't have let anyone else down this street after him so he'd more than likely have a clean break back the way he'd come. He could get closer to the other wall, duck back behind the dumpsters if the guy had a gun. "What kind of pieces?"

"The man keeps switching identities, so it's hard to follow but it seems like one of the names I found could be him. I've been having trouble since I've been kicked off the force. Under that name he was in a court case involving the death of his daughter." Marcus tucked his wallet away, not taking much note of Kevin's shifting.

"All right, so he's sore at the system or something?" Kevin reached his free hand up and ran it through his hair, feeling it spike up under his tending. He felt like his nerves were vibrating, his emotions raw, and his adrenaline was buzzing along in his ears.

"Something like that, yeah. Apparently she was shot by a cop." Marcus paused looking down and then back up to Kevin. "Look, I can give you all the information I've gathered on him. I brought copies for you. They're tucked in the coat."

"No, don't touch anything. Just- just get against the wall, hands flat. I'll check for myself," Kevin said twitching the gun with the directions he was giving.

Marcus nodded and went over to the wall, spread his legs a bit, and put his palms flat on the brick. "They're on the left side, tucked in the vest."

Kevin nodded and moved over, gun still in one hand. He stopped a few feet away for a moment, tucked his gun into his holster, then patted the guy down quickly. He found the folder, thick, in the left side of the vest and not a single weapon. "I'm surprised you're not armed. If you are one of his targets shouldn't you be worried he'll kill you?"

Marcus' shoulders shook with laughter but he wasn't moving away from the wall. "I don't think you understand the game, Detective Ryan. I guess you will soon enough, when you read what's in the file." He pulled up from the wall and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Have a nice night." He headed out the way he came.

Kevin pulled the gun back up. "Hey, stop!"

"You won't shoot me. I'm unarmed and you have nothing on me." Bent into himself against the cold, Marcus continued shuffling away.

Kevin watched him go, eyes burning into the man's back until it disappeared around a corner. Kevin remained there, blinking, holding a gun in one hand and a thick manila folder in the other, just staring at one of the ends of the side street. A significant gust of wind ripped through the sweatshirt and sent him shivering. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he stuck the gun back to his waistband and the folder inside his sweatshirt. Kevin made his way back out of the side street. He moved to the unmarked car, rapt his knuckles on the window and nodded to the front door.

Walking up the stairs and into the apartment, Kevin tried to be as quiet as he could be. He took off his shoes in the room and laid the folder on the bed before falling onto it. He fell into a exhausted sleep with jeans and sweatshirt as night-clothes.


	8. Of Conferencing Hearts

A/N - Home away from Beta. She'll skin me for posting without her consent but internet is a bit restricted for me at home. Hope there aren't too many grievous mistakes this summer, also hope to get more writing up. Sorry for the complete and utter lag the last few months, for anyone who is reading. Enjoy :D

8:00 A.M. Friday: Case 21 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan stood at the head of the conference table as he had been the one to announce he'd found something. Beckett, Esposito, and Castle were sitting around watching their teammate intently. Sucking in a deep breath, Kevin pulled from his deep brown side bag the large file that he'd received from Marcus. "I got this from," Kevin paused knowing he had to tell them but still wary of doing so. "From Marcus Henry. He's been following the killer for years now. He's got pieces, very important pieces, that really line up with everything. I looked over the files myself-"

"When the hell did you see him?" Javier had his arms on the table top, tensed as if he was ready to spring from his chair.

"Last night, and this morning I looked at them and then-"

"Where were _you_, Javier?" Kate turned an unblinking stare on the Hispanic detective, lips pursed tightly.

Javier held his hands upwards and shook his head. "Last I'd known he was in bed."

"I went for a walk. Now look, when I was here this morning I also compared cases linked to the identities." Kevin's eyes were bright and his fingers were moving fast through the files he'd printed off to put in with the ones he'd gotten from Marcus. "Look, they match up-"

Beckett turned on him and set her hands on her hips as she stood. "Kevin, that could very well be the man who murdered your sister, you realize that?"

Kevin's shoulders fell and he stopped pawing at the papers. Pulling his hands together, fingers mingling in nervous shifting, he shook his head. "I don't think he did it. You have to hear what he said, see what's here."

"She's right. You shouldn't have gone off alone. Did you even talk to the detail outside?" Javier asked shifting in his seat, pushing it back so he had more room.

Kevin pushed back in his seat and glared at the two of them. "I'm not a child, you know. Stop patronizing me for doing my job. I wasn't in danger and I've gotten a bigger lead than anyone else has gotten. Marcus Henry was making a hell of a lot of sense and if you'd just look at what I have, you'd understand."

Javier huffed out a breath and shook his head. Beckett sat down and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. Castle sat jerking his head back and forth between speakers. "Even if he's not the killer-"

"Castle," Kevin's voice was soft and tired. "Not you, too."

"We should talk bro. Alone." Javier clasped his hands on the edge of the table, ready to get up with his partner and go somewhere else.

Kevin looked up and ground his teeth thoughtfully. "All right, interrogation two? Guys, stay here, huh?"

All three nodded and Kevin flipped the file closed before standing up. He stuffed his hands into his gray dress pants and went out of the conference room to the interrogation room. He opened up the door and went it, pushing it open enough for Javier to slip in after him. Turning to look at his partner, Kevin blinked a few heavy times and sat on the edge of the metal table. "I know I shouldn't have gone out there alone, Javi,, but it worked out fine. Better than that, we have a lead. We have _something_ man and that's…" He looked down at his feet, running out of words.

Javier stepped up and reached out a hand, laying it on Kevin's shoulder. "I get it, I really do, but I'm a bit, uh, nervous about you in all this shit Kev. He's gotten really personal and that's dangerous. You're jumping blindly at shadows and that's not safe." Javier pulled his hand back and moved so he was standing next to Kevin. Bumping his hip he shifted the man enough so he could park his rear on the table as well.

Kevin watched Javier cross his arms and he smiled lightly. "Yeah, I'm just ready to get this guy. If Marcus is right, he's been at this for a long time. I'm the first person actually taking Marcus seriously and he has a lot there. The bit I could work through this morning is legit, Javi."

Brown eyes turned feet-wards and Javier shook his head slowly. "Why didn't you get me?"

"You were asleep." Kevin's voice held that soft, innocent tone it had before Karen's murder.

Kevin watched those brown eyes swing back up to him and he halted his thoughts for a few long moments, waiting for Javier to expel whatever anger he was feeling. "You don't get why I'm upset with you, do you?" Javier asked. His eyes were roaming up and down Kevin in slow, sweeping movements.

"No, I don't. I'm not hurt and I got a big lead, Javi. What's there to be upset about?" Kevin's own eyes were stapled to Javier's face.

Javier took in a deep breath, let it out in a loud huff and tore his eyes from Kevin. He pushed off of the table, paced twice in front of his partner and stopped, turning back to him. "Kevin, you and I have been friends for a long time. We're partners, we're tight." He stopped and Kevin nodded, keeping quiet. "Now, I think we're more than that right?" Another nod from Kevin kept him going. "So, I don't want to lose that all of a sudden."

"Javier, I'm not going anywhere." Kevin reached out towards him only to get his hand knocked away.

"Stop it. I'm trying to think," Javier said stepping out of his reach.

Kevin sank back on the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't be like that, I just can't think with you touching me. Look, this guy is playing games with you and he's pretty well marked me for dead." Javier shook his head. "There's a lot of shit going on with this case and we've just jumped into something with a lot of emotional investment. Maybe this wasn't the right time to uh, step this up."

Blue eyes snapped upwards as anger flooded through Kevin. He balled his fists, grit his teeth and then let out a half-hearted laugh. "Yeah, probably not. I'm going to actually work on this case then, so maybe you can figure out whether I should stay or go." Launching from the table, Kevin pushed past Javier before he could stop him and exited the interrogation room.

Fine, Javier wanted to play this way, it just gave Kevin a greater reason to clear this damned case up. It was messing with his personal life in a bad way and Kevin was about ready to pull out the guns, safety off. He wasn't sure how many bullets it would take to get things cleaned up but he was about willing to find out.

He took his time getting back to the conference room when he didn't hear Javier following after him. Kevin knew he needed to calm down before he faced the other two. He was surprised that he'd actually walked out on Javier, but Javihad hit him with a very sensitive blow. It had upset Kevin even if his partner hadn't realized it would. Striding back into the room with Kate and Richard, Kevin's breathing was easier and his thoughts were starting to gather together in some semblance of his favored system once more.

Standing at the head of the conference table, Kevin noted that Kate and Richard were looking over the papers he had in the manila folder. He rested his hands on the sides of the folder and watched them quietly for a moment, collecting his normal calm once more. "So?" he asked when they both looked up.

Kate looked at Kevin then towards the door and back. "Where's Javier?" she asked, setting down a piece of paper.

Kevin shrugged and his eyes went to the paper she'd sat down. "How much have you read? Isn't it plausible?"

Richard took in a breath, that one which told them he was about to spew some ridiculous theory. "What if this Marcus guy _is_ the killer and he's got this all set up as another part of the game? Er…'game'?" He air-quoted his words and looked up at Kevin with a soft expression.

Kate looked over in surprise and couldn't help a small smirk. "What no government conspiracy? Lofty love triangle?"

Kevin chuckled at the dejected look Richard shot her. "All right, before you both shoot this down and _have_ to fall back on a government love triangle, will you let me get this all together and present it?"

Looking up at him, Kate chewed her bottom lip for a moment and slowly nodded. "I got a call on Sean. The detail picked him up early this morning. I'll take Castle to talk to him and you can get this read through and ordered with Esposito."

Although he wanted to argue that Javier probably wouldn't be assisting on this one, Kevin just nodded and sat back down, starting to gather the files around him. "Thanks, Beckett."

"You're going to owe me, Ryan." She smiled, patted his shoulder in a pretense of pity, and headed out of the room with Castle in tow.

12:26 P.M. Friday-

Kate and Richard walked back into the conference room where Kevin was still sitting. He'd gotten the files all settled into neat piles and there were three cups of coffee dispersed intermittently through the piles. He looked up from a paper he was highlighting and those blue eyes sparked to life. "What did you find out?" His voice was upbeat, curious. Maybe a little hopeful.

"Not much of anything. Sean was out of town most of the time that Henry Marcus was staying there." Kate lifted her hands in a defeated sort of upward shrug. "He paid in cash, on time, so Sean didn't pay him much attention."

"Do you still think he's the one?" Kevin asked. This time his eyes were on the papers before him.

Kate pulled out a chair and sat down in it slowly before answering. "I go by the evidence. You know that, and you normally follow that."

Kevin nodded. "Right, well I've got a lot of that here and it's really lining up, Beckett." He watched Richard sit down next to her. "Look, these identities he took did one of two things- they either got him close to the cop and their family or were victims of police shootings." Kevin showed them a few examples from the tops of his piles.

Kate and Richard nodded, keeping quiet while Kevin continued. "Marcus Henry's case file is in here, as well. He lost someone, too and was let go after shooting who he thought had done it. It was ruled accidental but he's been under the radar ever since. Gathering all of this." Kevin pulled a large stack towards him. "Look, he's got case files of each murder with similar elements. It's always the flowers. The victims change, the COD changes, but there are always flowers."

"Kevin, this doesn't really prove Marcus' innocence, you realize that?" Kate watched him, her hands folded in front of her. "It's all certainly pointing towards a serial killer with a very specific M.O. dealing with the police but it doesn't prove Marcus didn't have anything to do with it."

"She's right. He's got a lot here, newspaper clippings, files from cases…" Richard shook his head as he looked over it all, picking up a few random pieces of papers. "Doesn't having all of this sort of lead you to think he _did it_? He's pretty thorough."

Kate was nodding in agreement and Kevin just sat there, looking down at it all. "You didn't talk to him though. It's just a feeling, Beckett, but I don't think Marcus did it."

Javier rapt on the door with his knuckles interrupting the conversation between all three and he held up a slip of paper. "I was down with Lanie looking over her autopsy notes. She pulled a print from Katherine's wrist. I brought it to the lab and they matched it to one on the letter." Javier broke off and looked down at the paper then held it out to Kate. "We've got a lead. A name and address."

Kevin stood up quickly, feeling his chair wobble but keep upright behind him. "Who is it?"

Kate pulled the paper to her and read off of it, "Vincent Alundro."

Pushing through papers, scanning them quickly, Kevin's face tightened into confused lines. "I think I know that name…something…" He shook his head, not seeing it. "That name isn't here…" A full three minutes later Kevin had scanned each paper and flopped down in defeat. "He's not in here. Who is he?"

"V.A." Javier looked at Kevin, his voice low as he spoke to him and brown eyes wavering between Kevin's blue eyes and his lips. "The signature on the note."

"Are we going to the address?" Kevin asked flicking his eyes from Javier to Kate.

"Yeah, let me brief Montgomery, get a warrant and a few more guys." Kate brought the paper with her as she slipped from the room.

Kevin sat back a little attempting patience. The quiet in the room had him looking around again. Richard was sitting there, staring out of the window. Javier was standing there quietly, arms folded across his chest, and had his eyes pegged on Kevin. Coughing a little, Kevin looked back at Richard. "Hey, do you have a copy of the Roach book? I haven't had a chance to read it yet. Could take Beckett a few to get a warrant."

Richard sat up further. "I write an entire book for you and you haven't read it yet?"

"For me?" Kevin asked quirking an eyebrow upwards.

"Well, you and the fans that were flooding my mailbox and twitter." Richard smiled and looked over at Javier. "You've got a few hardcore fans, Esposito."

Javier laughed and found himself a seat across from Richard, a chair down from Kevin. "Yeah? Got two copies then? I haven't read it yet either."

Richard's jaw dropped and he balked at the two of them. "Would you read it if I told you Roach had a sex scene?"

"Who did you hook up?" Kevin's question was innocent enough, figuring it would be some character based off of Jenny or Lanie.

"I said pretty clearly, Roach, didn't I?" Richard was grinning like a kid who'd found a puppy and his mother had actually said yes to keeping it.

"You did what, bro?" Javier gawked at Richard with suspicion in his milk-and-coffee colored eyes.

Kevin's mind was racing and he looked at Richard for a giveaway of it being a joke. There was no way Richard knew, and there certainly hadn't been a thing between the two of them while the book was being written. He caught a flashing, questioning look from Javier and his heart thudded heavier.

"Well, would you read it now?" Richard's grin was not fading in the least.

Javier huffed dismissively. "Whatever, Castle. I'll just cuff you and toss you in lock up for an hour or two."

Richard looked from Javier to Kevin. "Can he do that without cause?"

"Edging in on a detective's personal life is cause enough." Kevin chuckled and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, setting them on the table.

Richard's look of surprise had both Javier and Kevin forgetting the tension and laughing. "You two are cruel."

3:10 P.M. Friday-

Kate had the warrant tucked into the bullet proof vest she was wearing. She was driving while Castle sat in the front. Kevin and Javier took up the backseat, also strapped into vests, guns ready in their holsters.

The familiar adrenaline of 'this could be it' flooded through Kevin. He'd texted Stacey to make sure she was okay and knew what was going down this afternoon. She'd wished him luck and told him to be careful. He'd been hearing this often as of late. Shifting to sit straighter in his seat, Kevin settled his rattling nerves with a deep and steadying breath.

Kevin didn't say anything about this being close to the end, about getting their man, because he was afraid that this, too, would end in disappointment.

When the car pulled up a block away from the apartment buildings, Kate turned to Richard. "I know you don't follow directions well, but please stay here. Out of the way." It was a hopeful command.

Kate, Javier and Kevin climbed out of the car when Richard nodded. All three knew he'd probably end up in the apartment building somehow anyway. They led the way into the building, a team of four others coming in behind them. The second team went down the hall to the second stairwell in the lobby area while Kevin, Kate and Javier went up the first.

Breaking into their triangle rank, Kate stopped at the door and banged on it- three sharp raps. There was a squeak of a chair and shuffling across the floor, heavy and slow.

Kevin had his hand on his gun, ready and waiting. He glanced at Javier and noted the man's attention was fixed on the door; Javier's hand was on his own gun as well. Once this mess was cleaned up he knew he'd have to apologize to Javier for his freak out but for now he needed to get his mind back on the now. Shifting into a more sturdy stance, Kevin watched the door as the handle started to turn. Kate had her gun out at her side and she pulled the warrant from her vest.

As the door swung open an elderly gentleman with a smattering of gray hairs over his head looked up at her. "A warrant?" He squished his eyes together and stared at the paper. "For what?" he asked in a creaky voice.

"Um," Kate cleared her throat. None of them had expected this. "Does Vincent Alundro live here?" she asked glancing over his shoulder, still tense in expectation.

Kevin glanced from the door to the end of the hallway where the second team was sitting. He held up his hand in a brief 'wait' motion. The tension was wafting over all of them.

"Who?" The man clapped a cupped hand over his ear and leaned in a little. His eyes were squinting, like that would help to hear Kate better.

"Vincent Alundro." Kate shifted her stance and peered once more over the man's shoulder inside.

"Who is that dear?" The voice of an elderly woman croaked from somewhere inside.

"The police. Do you know Vincent, Rosa?" The man had craned his neck around to look back at the woman.

"That baseball player?" she asked.

"No, no. That's-"

"Sorry about taking up your time. Thank you for your cooperation," Kate said with a smile and tucked her gun away. Her eyes went to Kevin. "Well, looks like Marcus led us around in circles."

Kevin shook his head. "We got this from a fingerprint," he argued. Turning his back to the door and Kate, Kevin started back down the hallway. "We should ask the doorman…"

"I don't think he's here, Kev." Javier had caught up to him and was standing at his shoulder, voice low.

Kevin grit his teeth and spoke through them, "I can't believe this was just another dead end."

9:10 P.M. Saturday: Case 22 days cold-

"I just think it was a waste of time looking for him. We didn't even find him and Beckett didn't get any leads while we were out." Kevin was sitting on the couch, controller in hand.

"Yeah, I get that but this job is a lot of leg work, Kev. Come on, I know this case is personal but think about it like the others." Javier had the other controller and hit a rapid, well memorized pattern of buttons.

The result had the television playing sounds of an explosion and Kevin tossed his controller on the table. "I am. I'm just tired of getting nowhere on it." He shook his head and grabbed the beer bottle in front of him. Taking a long drink, he glanced at Javier. Kevin had yet to apologize and it was a little bit awkward between them. Sure there was conversation but for the last couple days they hadn't really gotten personal and kept extra space when working.

"I think we all are." Javier sat his controller down next to Kevin's but didn't pick up his beer.

Kevin nodded and took another drink. He was silent for a moment and Javier sat back just watching him. Setting the bottle down, Kevin turned on the couch to look more fully at Javier. Thoughts of the kiss they'd shared on this couch flooded Kevin's mind and he tried to push them away. "Still mad at me for walking out?"

Javier sighed and shifted forward, getting closer to Kevin. "I wasn't mad. I'm not mad." Brown eyes traveled over the expanse of Kevin's face a few times. "I talked with Lanie, thought you and were done because of the fight. She said I was stupid."

Both men laughed, their tension easing away with it. "Lanie's right." Kevin's hand found its way to Javier's knee and he gave it a squeeze. "I walked out so I didn't have to listen to you telling me not to get personal with you." Kevin shrugged, feeling as if he'd had enough of the emotional for a lifetime.

His body was tense, heated up as he looked Javier, and wanted physical. It had had its emotional release already and now it was looking for something more. There was a side of Kevin that he didn't often let out; a side of him that only came out in the bedroom. That aggressive, dominant side was pushing its way through now. He had his hands balled into fists in an external attempt to keep it all pushed down inside of him. The way Javier tugged at the neck of the button up and revealed more of that deep tan skin along Javier's neck made Kevin growl low in his throat. His eyes were fixed on that spot and he barely heard Javier's response.

"I guess we're kind of kidding ourselves if we think we're not going to get persona- Kevin?" Javier asked hearing the growl. He watched the man, the change coming over him and the intensity sitting in his blue eyes.

"Hm?" Kevin murmured, ripping his eyes upwards to Javier's. He drew a slow tongue across his lips and smiled slowly.

"Man…you look…" Javier's heart had picked up to keep pace with his heaving breaths as he watched his partner. "Hot."

"Mm. Javie?" Kevin's voice was rumbling low. His body was tensed as he gripped the back of the couch with one hand and placed the other next to him as leverage. His baby blues were locked on Javier's lips now.

Javier could barely breathe out his response as he sat tightly against the armrest of the couch. "Yeah?" he forced out with an exhale.

Kevin's eyes flicked up to Javier's once more. "Don't move."

Javier audibly swallowed. "Sure."

With a smile showing his teeth, Kevin inched forward on the couch in a slow prowl. He perched himself on Javier's lap, taking a hold of the collar of his shirt. Gradually, Kevin pulled Javier to his lips. Latching on, Kevin let his senses become filled with everything that was Javier. He dipped his tongue between Javier's lips and tasted him, memorizing him. The hand that held his collar was tight and pushed at Javier's throat.

The Hispanic swallowed a little, all he could from the choking hold Kevin had on him. He rose up from the couch to meet Kevin's intensity. He was almost immediately pushed back down against the armrest. It bit into his back and he let out an 'umph'.

"I said stay," Kevin rumbled. Smiling against Javier's gasp, he brought his other hand up to the collar. Feeling for the first button he started to pop them open, revealing the smooth, tanned skin beneath. His hand deviated from the shirt to drag his short nails over Javier's chest.

He was rewarded with another gasp from Javier. Pushing the shirt completely off of Javier was a bit harder now that Javier had figured he shouldn't move at all. The frustration of the attempt had Kevin's dominant side rising up quickly. When he did have the man stripped of the article he looked at Javier and reigned himself back in.

Sitting back slightly, enough so that he wasn't breathing in every one of Javier's exhales, Kevin drew rationality back to him. "Tell me to stop?"

Javier laughed a shaky breath. "Ah, no." He leaned upwards and stole Kevin's breath between his lips.

Leaning into him, Kevin wrapped an arm up around the back of his head and held him at his mouth. He attempted to murmur, 'good', but wasn't sure it got through or not. Reaching down between them he pulled at Javier's belt and with some thrusting and shifting of hips, the belt joined the shirt on the floor.

Getting pulled up against Javier's chest had Kevin's sexual dominance flare once more. He pushed off of the man and put his mouth to the side of Javier's neck. Keeping most of himself off of Javier, Kevin nipped and sucked at the tender flesh between shoulder and neck. The tang of cologne hit his tongue and he swallowed quickly. The taste wasn't so bad after the second swallow and by then he was well on his way to marking up Javier's skin.

"Kev?" Javier pushed at his shoulders lightly.

"Mm?" Kevin's teeth nipped a little harder at Javier's skin.

"Ow, Kev. Bedroom?"

"Nuh uh." Getting up enough so that his knees were on the couch and not Javier, Kevin forced him downwards into a more lounging position. Sitting on his hips he felt that Javier was just as into this as Kevin was. With a smile he ripped at his own shirt and hearing the rending of fabric was sure he'd be missing buttons. Tossing the fabric aside, Kevin went to work on their pants.

He'd gotten Javier's off and his own undone before giving up and going back down to Javier's lips. The feel of Javier's hand on his hips, up his back, into his hair, had Kevin's head reeling.

Javier glanced behind Kevin. "Drawer of the side table…" he breathed out.

Pushing away from the wonderful feel of hands, Kevin leaned over the other side of the couch and pulled out a bottle of lubricant. He moved back up between Javier's legs. Setting the lubricant aside for the moment he put a hand to Javier's throat. He pushed upwards and watched Javier's head fall back to the armrest. His other hand pulled one of Javier's legs up to wrap around Kevin's hip. Shifting pants and boxers enough to slip his erection out, Kevin reached down and grabbed the lubricant again. He had to let go of Javier's neck to open the top and put a dab in his palm. Running a quick hand over his erection he watched Javier leaning back over the couch, felt his leg keeping tight around Kevin. Lowering his hips he pressed his head into Javier's soft skin and watched his partner tense slightly.

Putting a hand back to Javier's throat, Kevin squeezed tighter and slowly pushed his hips forward. He heard the bottle _thunk_ to the floor as they thrust their hips together. Javier's arm slithered up the back of the couch and gripped at it, his other was along the side, hand flexing in time with the rocking of their hips. One of Kevin's was planted next to them, keeping him upright and the other massaged, tightened and released Javier's throat rhythmically.

"Harder," Javier panted, his body tense and stomach muscles rippling with each thrust.

Kevin didn't need more beckoning than that. He let go of Javier's neck, grabbed his hips and pulled them upwards. Setting himself higher on his knees, Kevin thrust faster, feeling Javier's muscles constrict around him. The sight of Javier writing in pleasure beneath him made Kevin smile. He dug his nails into Javier's skin and fell into a quick, even rhythm with his hips. Again he noticed how beautifully their tan and pale skins mixed, falling together and pulling away, over and over again. One of Kevin's hands lifted from Javier's hips and wrapped itself around Javier's erection as he felt them both getting close. He wanted them to come together. Squeezing, grasping, stroking faster and harder, Javier's hips jumped under Kevin. He thrust up into Kevin's hand, into his stomach, and Kevin bit down on his lip. They both pressed together tightly, gripping and grabbing at whatever skin they could and fell into the heat of ecstasy at the same time.

Heads reeling, breath quick, and skin slicked with sweat, Javier and Kevin lay wrapped together on the couch. Kevin's dominance sedated, he tucked his head under Javier's chin and let Javier wrap his arms around Kevin. If it wasn't for Javier's protests, Kevin would have stayed like that all night.

Showered, naked and wet but drying, the two fell into Javier's large bed. They wrapped themselves around one another again and drifted off.


	9. Morning After

(A/N- Just a short update this time around. It lays out the way to the last chapter. Yep, one more to go and hopefully it will be full of action, of all kinds! Thanks to everyone following this story. It is definitely one of my favorite pieces of writing.)

6:45 A.M. Sunday: Case 23 days cold-

Detective Kevin Ryan blinked a few times, lying snug under Javier's arm. Something had woken him before the seven o'clock alarm and he was struggling to realize what it was. The bedroom door. He had the feeling he'd heard the thing open, which made no sense as he and Javier were the only ones here.

Panic surged adrenaline through Kevin and he jolted upright, Javier's arm being ripped away from him. His partner muttered something unintelligible and put the arm around Kevin's waist, attempting to pull him back to the warmth of the blankets and Javier's naked body.

"Stop it," Kevin muttered, pushing the arm aside again. He looked first to the door and noted it was shut tightly. The room was barely lit, natural light fighting its way through the blinds on the wall off to one side. His gaze swept around the room carefully as he reached out to the side drawer and pulled out the gun he knew rested inside. Popping the cartridge out to check that it was loaded, Kevin saw six bullets. Good. Detaching himself fully from Javier and the tempting bed, Kevin grabbed a pair of Javier's sweatpants from the floor and pulled them over his hips.

Tiptoeing to the door, Kevin looked back at Javier, cuddling a pillow to him and back asleep already. Satisfied Javier wouldn't be moving Kevin eased the door open and held the gun upright with his finger laid to the side of the trigger. A few seconds could be the difference between a misfire and safety of the apartment's insurance deposit.

Poking his way out and down the hallway, he crept quietly and checked each room in turn. His ears were kept open and his eyes peeled. He was sure he didn't blink until he reached the main area of the apartment. Glancing around the living room and kitchen, he saw things were tossed around lightly, searched through. His finger went to the trigger and he paned around the place once more and then headed for the front door. He moved quickly, carefully, gun out before him.

The front door was wide open, letting in a slight draft. Kevin's heart was hammering as he looked out of it and down the hallway, to the stairwell and main door used for all three of the apartments in this section. The front door was shut tightly and the stairwell was empty. Retreating back inside, Kevin shut and locked the door. If they were still in the apartment, at least he knew no one could join them from this way. His thoughts were suddenly on Javier, on that picture with his head circled in red.

Fleeing back to the bedroom, less carefully than his search through their rooted through apartment, Kevin wasn't breathing. As he neared the door he noted it was still wide open and he could see his partner lying there in bed, still asleep and hugging Kevin's pillow. Drawing up short in the doorway, Kevin glanced in and found it still empty. He breathed.

Something white and red caught his eyes and he looked at Javier's bedroom door. A letter in a dark blue ink was posted there with a white rose. Tearing the rose and note away from the door, Kevin wasn't all that worried about fingerprints. He wasn't thinking about evidence, he was thinking about how the man tormenting his life had come this close to Javier.

"Javier," he called from the doorway, hoping the man would wake up. Meanwhile his eyes scanned the letter, capturing and memorizing each word. He needed to call and check up on Stacy again.

"Mm," Javier murmured just as the alarm clock started in its blaring notes. The man shot upright and slapped at the button on top. That shut the clock up and Javier looked around a little lost. His eyes, groggy, landed on Kevin. "What're'ya doin'?" A yawn engulfed what else he may have asked.

Kevin shot his eyes to Javier, tucked the gun into his waistband at his lower back, and he blinked a few times, parsing the yawn-speak. "He was here, Javie. Look."

It took a pause of exactly two seconds then Javier was out of bed, naked, and fuming. "He fucking what? Here? And where's the goddamned detail then, sleeping on the fucking job? If he had hurt you…and you went looking…without me?"

Kevin was at Javier's side of the bed where the man was pacing by the time he'd finished his spewing. Staring at the man in a temper had Kevin smiling slightly, forgetting only briefly of the danger he was upset about. Leaning up just a touch he kissed the man's lips and rolled back to the flat of his feet. "I'm sorry. I didn't think straight."

Javier simmered and pouted at Kevin, but remained silent. He did hold out his hand, waiting for Kevin to deposit the letter in it.

Looking at the letter in his hand then to Javier's hand, Kevin slowly gave it to him. Javier read it out loud although Kevin had already memorized what had been written.

"Dearest Kevin,

It is unfortunate that you had to talk to Henry Marcus. He's been a kink in my neck for far too long. I have to admit, it made me quite angry to see him conversing with you when you're playing my game with me. He was a pawn that needed to be removed. Now it is down to us, Kevin, King versus King.

That is the way it will have to end, you know. I am getting too old and too tired to continue this game. I have to admit, this has been one of my most splendid game sessions. I have written about our time together often and I cannot seem to put my pencil aside now. What you and I have is amazing, don't you see?

Perhaps you do not see it just yet, so I will explain it to you. What I am giving you is a lesson, Kevin. It is a lesson in compassion, justice, and the exploration of the truth. You have been my greatest pupil and I am proud of you. Most of the others gave up or quickly found someone, anyone, Marcus, to blame it on. Not you though and thus I am retiring. You have been my success case and I can play out the End Game with my head held high and my heart in the right place. Now you will never see anyone as anything less than victim, and anyone guilty more than criminal- no matter what position or job they may hold.

Thank you for your perfection. In return I will give you a much bigger clue; Box 72. I know that doesn't seem like much, but I have faith in you Detective Kevin Ryan.

Your move, Dearest

-V.A."

Hearing it read out loud was somehow much worse, more real, and Kevin's stomach was now flip-flopping. Slapping a hand over his mouth, Kevin raced for the bathroom. He tore up the toilet seat and hunched himself over the porcelain bowl. Having nothing in his stomach this morning, his throat quickly became sore from dry heaving. He could feel tears brimming at his eyelids but blinked them back and focused on settling his stomach.

A warm hand found its way slowly across Kevin's back and he looked up, finding himself staring up into beautiful, concerned, brown eyes.

"We have to call Beckett, get the lab guys here to check for evidence." Javier's hand was still running soft circles across Kevin's back as he spoke to his partner. He was also still very naked.

Kevin nodded and looked his naked form up and down. "Funny, I still find you extremely attractive during all of this. You should go put some clothes on before I start feeling better."

Although he didn't seem to want to at first, Javier started laughing. He ruffled Kevin's hair and strode off after a lingering stare. Kevin pulled himself up off of the floor and went over to the sink. He ran some cool water and splashed his face, waking himself up to a less fight-flight state of mind. Cupping his hands to drink some of the water he cringed slightly as the cold water hit his sensitive gut. It brought back a nice bit of rationality and reasoning with the shock and so Kevin cupped his hands again.

The baritone murmur of Javier could be heard over the water but Kevin couldn't make out what he was saying. He could guess at the gist and the person on the other end.

8:00 A.M. Sunday: Case 23 days cold-

The apartment was filled to the brim with cops and Kevin couldn't look back at it from out on the sidewalk. He couldn't help but feel if maybe he'd just worked it out with Jenny then Javier wouldn't be having all of this trouble. Javier has had to put up with so much and all on Kevin's account. Not to mention that although he hadn't been touched during the break in, the picture they'd come across a few days ago pretty well marked him as a high priority target to this killer. It would certainly be quite a blow to Kevin in Javier wound up under the killer's hands.

And damn every rose that ever was. A vase of them, wilted and slightly stinking, sat on the next door stoop. Kevin was sure they were from that apartment and not some little piece of the killer's game and that sort of made it worse- he wouldn't be able to escape some associations.

Beckett stepped up next to him and Javier looked over. "Hey, sorry to start your morning off early."

She gave him a stern look that had his apology ending quickly. "I'm just glad that you're both okay." Beckett looked Kevin up and down and paused, her eyes on his sweats. "Are those…Javier's?"

"Uh," Kevin gaped down at them. "Yes they are. Must have slipped them on accidently in the hurry." Blue eyes watched Kate Beckett carefully and he knew. He knew that she knew. "So, what do you think about the box number? Mailbox somewhere? Security box?"

"Both are good possibilities. We'll have to look at a few places. When we get to the precinct I'll have you look up some possibles."

"Sure thing, and again, sorry." Kevin walked off to the car he and Javier would go in just as Castle jogged over to Beckett. He gave one look back, letting Beckett know that he knew her secret as well.

Kevin opened the car door and glanced across the roof, a movement across the street catching his eye. A man with slightly scruffy blond hair was walking down the street. The man glanced at the crime scene for a moment, pausing in his walking and then shuffled on. His actions weren't out of the ordinary but his face; Kevin swore he knew him somehow. He shook it off as having seen him in the days he'd spent hanging around Javier's. Perhaps the pizza joint he was walking by.

8:12 A.M. Monday: Case 24 days cold-

Normally Kevin wouldn't be sitting at his work desk on a Monday but after getting nowhere on the Box number all day he felt the need to put in a few more hours on this case. Vincent, if that was his name, was right. They had to play out this last little bit, this End Game. It would be that damned murderer's king that would be falling on the last move.

Kevin put his chin on his hand and heaved a sigh. He was out of ideas. They'd checked every post office box in the city, ninety percent of the safety boxes, and even some mailboxes in the neighborhoods. Every box 72 they'd come across had been empty.

Sinking further in his chair, Kevin was ready to give up until he could get at least three cups of coffee in him. The sudden feel of hands on his shoulders made him jump. Looking up he caught sight of Javier standing behind his chair. "Oh. Hey."

"Any ideas yet?" Javier moved around the chair and sat on Kevin's desk, one of Javier's legs resting against Kevin's.

Kevin shook his head and absently reached out his hand, resting it on Javier's thigh. His thumb ran back and forth, unknowingly tormenting his partner. "Box, a box with a number. It's a big clue. I should know it. It was directed at me." The way Kevin shifted in his chair made his gun dig painfully into his hip. "Damn it," he growled moving away from the arm of the chair.

He pulled his hand away from Javier and stood up quickly. "Box 72, of course! I'm such an idiot."

"Huh?" Javier looked up at him from his sitting position. "You lost me, bro. Fill me in?"

"My gun locker here is 72." Kevin didn't have to say more than that. Both men were off at a jog to the back of the precinct, headed for the gun range and gun lockers. Standing in front of it, Kevin looked at the locker without opening it.

Javier nudged his shoulder. "This could be one of the last steps. Open it."

"What if I'm not going to like what's inside?" Kevin looked back at his partner, eyebrows raised and swallowed heavily. He turned back to the gray metal locker, as tall as the shotgun needed it to be.

"Has to be checked eventually. Come on, we all want this ended." Javier reached around him and pulled up on the metal latch. It clicked and swung open with a rusty screech. Inside was all of Kevin's equipment- his vest, shotgun, extra bullets, and other objects- and another note. A brown-red streak across it read "KEVIN".

Kevin stepped back. "Is that…"

"Blood? I think so. I'd use gloves on this one." Javier turned away to grab a pair from the closet in the gun room. "Here."

Kevin slipped them on and picked up the letter. He flipped it open and all that was written in it was 'Vincent Alundro- Guilty'.


	10. End Game

(A/N- Thanks to everyone who's been following this one. So many ideas changed with this that it went places I didn't know it would. This is the final chapter, wrapping up a long process. Sorry for the absence and hope you enjoy. Also, thank you for the reviews. I know I've slacked in answering them personally, but I do appreciate the comments!)

End Game

9:00 A.M. Monday: Case 24 days cold-

"It's a confession." Kevin was pacing in front of the table where Beckett, Castle, and Javier were sitting with the details of the case. "Doesn't do us any good since we can't find the creep."

Castle shifted in his chair, leaning forward over the table. "He wants to end this, he said. Shouldn't this be easy then?"

Beckett sighed, "He's a psychopath; just because he says he'll end it doesn't mean it's going to work out cleanly. We won't have results on that blood for hours, our lead to his apartment turned up empty, and Marcus is now missing."

Kevin scoffed. "Let's not down play it. That blood is Marcus's and he's dead." Kevin flopped in a seat and stared at everything in front of him. "I think I know who it is. There's something toying with me, like I've seen him before."

Javier pushed himself back uncomfortably in the chair, watching Kevin closely.

"There was a blond man out front today and I can't get him out of my mind. Where are the crowd photos of the crime scenes?" Kevin flipped through some files to locate them. Kate handed them over from a pile near her.

"Right here, little help it will do." She sat back in her chair and thrummed her fingers on the table. "We have all of the pieces but we can't find him. We know everything, a man who had someone close to them murdered by a cop, Vincent Alundro, serial murderer. We have a confession and evidence from his apartment…"

Kevin slapped a photo down, one from his sister's crime scene. "There, him in the blue jacket and blonde hair." He put another down, and another, from each crime scene pointing out the same man. "That's him, and I know where else I've seen him." His heart was suddenly in his throat and he looked at Javier. "He lives in the apartment building with Jenny. Three apartments down."

"Shit…" the word was cursed in unison by Beckett and Castle.

Javier sat quietly, chewing at the inside of his cheek. Of course this complicated things, of course he didn't want to see Jenny hurt, but Javier didn't want Kevin having the opportunity to go back to her. "Let's go then. Let's end this once and for all."

Kevin watched his partner briefly then nodded. "We'll need back-up."

Beckett was to her feet and headed for the door. "Already on it, get suited up."

Kevin, Javier and Castle went to the lockers and grabbed vests, guns, ammo, making sure that they were ready for anything. If this case had taught them anything it was to expect the worst.

11:35 A.M. Monday-

The team was set around the corner of the apartment, having run in silent. They could not afford to let this guy get away. Javier and Kevin were behind the others, placed there specifically by Beckett. While she didn't have the heart to pull them off the interception team, she also didn't want them at the forefront of the takedown. There had been enough false leads and empty apartments that if this one held Vincent Alundro, she feared Kevin would shoot before they could make the actual arrest.

Kevin wasn't dull-witted; he knew why she put him where he was and he nearly agreed with her. While he reasoned with himself that he wanted the man put behind bars where he belonged, an itchy fore-finger danced along the metal of the trigger. Kevin didn't waste time with high hopes, deep breaths, or settling thoughts this time around. He was nearly expecting to walk in on an apartment void of actual human life. Perhaps Marcus would be lying in there, a pool of blood dried around him and rose petals tossed carelessly across his body. His mind thrummed almost emptily and his heart beat was sullenly even.

Stepping up behind Beckett and couple other vested officers, Kevin's eyes wandered lazily around the hallway. It was quiet but for the static hum of a television in the apartment across the hall. Jenny's apartment had been empty- she at work he assumed. Now there was only Vincent's supposed apartment and them. Beckett was at the door and glanced back at the team, silently motioning them into their respected positions. She knocked hard on the door and the sound was dull to Kevin's ears, like it was traveling through water to get to him. There were no footsteps, just a voice.

"Come in, Detectives. I am unarmed."

The voice was nothing to Kevin- not familiar, not sinister and dark like Darth Vader or Voldemort. It was a normal baritone wrapped in the slink of tiredness, sounding like any other Blue-collar voice after a long day, inviting a friend to relieve some monotony in an otherwise boring life.

Kevin held his gun at a low angle while officers still remained in front of him. He watched with them, the door swinging open easily and everyone taking precise, cautious steps into the abode of a madman. Beckett's gun was up, her stance was predatory, and her eyes were eating up the distance between her and the rest of the apartment. Kevin could barely glimpse the scene inside-

The hallway was ragged, wallpaper tearing and fraying where it met the ceiling. There was a table not far from the door with a set of keys and a little flashlight on its top. The hallway opened to a main room with older looking couches, hiding a joke about road-kill beneath the man who sat on one of them. He was the blonde from the picture and everything about him was so plain. His hair was dull blonde, curled just so in a forgettable manner. His skin was light, not overly pale or too tanned. His face was angled in soft curves like so many other men at fifty or so.

As Kevin and the others moved in, looking around carefully, and standing about the killer, Kevin got a look at his eyes. The color was a dreary blue- like a stormy day, but normal none-the-less. It wasn't the color; it was the look they held. The way he watched, eyelids pulled back a bit too wide, very directly staring at Kevin. The crinkles around the corners tightened the gaze into something wild, animalistic.

"Kevin Ryan, how very nice to meet you in person." Vincent smiled in a slow curl of his lips.

His voice, so dull and so natural, grated on Kevin's ears. "I cannot say the say the same."

Everything and everyone was frozen in a moment's embrace, each officer's gun directed at Vincent and no one daring to interrupt the two in their gnashing of words. The world stopped in an instant.

"I am a _victim_, Kevin," Vincent said easing forward on the couch. It creaked, a sound of iron pounding their eardrums.

Kevin scoffed, "You're nothing but a murderer."

And Vincent laughed, pushing up off of the couch and standing up in a popping of joints. The guns moved with him, following as he drew up taller. Beckett made the move in, tucking her gun back in the holster and snapping the top on it. Kevin watched Kate grab him, spin him around, and take his hands behind his back. "Vincent Alundro, you have the right to remain silent-"

The click of the handcuffs had ended it for Kevin. A rushing sound invaded his ears and his vision was fading at the edges. His gun was lowered and he watched Vincent being escorted out, a sick smile pin-pricked on Vincent's face. Once Vincent was out of Kevin's sight, Kevin eased slowly back against the wall behind him. Kevin's breathing was even, his sight focused on only the carpet at his feet, and his body felt heavy. He could sleep.

Javier stepped over when the room was cleared and put a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "You alright?" he asked lowly.

Kevin looked up into deep brown eyes and his vision widened once again. "Yeah, I think so. I just can't believe we got him."

The tick of a smile played at Javier's lips and he glanced around the room briefly before bringing his lips down to Kevin's. It was light, fleeting, and gentle. Kevin felt like he was sinking. "I could use some time off. A week at least."

"I think the whole team could. Perhaps Castle could hook us up at the Hamptons?" Javier's eyebrows rose suggestively and he looked quite happy with the idea.

Kevin reached up, wrapping his arms around Javier's neck, and kissed him more fully. He was getting quite involved with the man's mouth when he heard a cough from the hallway. The two men lurched back away from each other and their eyes landed on something that made Kevin's heart stop.

"I can't believe I was going to apologize. I was going to say I was wrong…I was right though, it damn well could be Javier in my place." Jenny was there out of nowhere and suddenly Beckett was at her arm, taking her by the elbow. Jenny shook her grip off though and marched in further. "Kevin Ryan, I am glad we're through."

Blinking a few times, a blush creeping over Kevin's face, he had to admit it still stung. While his feelings for her were admittedly not that deep, he'd never really thought terribly of her. Not truly. Watching her now, he saw it, the light hearted love that he'd had tending a school-boy crush. There was nothing for them but ghostly memories and broken sentences that would never be finished. "Good bye, Jenny."

This time when Beckett grabbed her, Jenny was dragged along. Partially it was shock that allowed her to and partially it was Beckett's harsher tug.

Javier and Kevin emerged from the house breathing lightly and smiles on their faces.

7:00 A.M. Friday: Case Closed 3 days

Kevin pushed the satin white sheets from himself and sat up on his elbow, looking down at the male in bed with him. The window was open and a sunrise draped long strands of pink and yellow across them both, curtains drifting lazily inwards with a breeze. The taste of salt-air was on Kevin's lips, spreading the smile smoothly. Easing his lips downwards he found the hollow of Javier's throat and woke him with a kiss.

"It's too early…" Javier murmured in a half-sleep and attempted to push Kevin away.

Kevin laughed and nipped at Javier's ear. "I'm awake, though." Sliding on top of Javier, Kevin lay his arms over Javier's chest, resting his chin atop his arms and watching his partner slowly waking up.

"I can feel that. I guess I'm awake now, too. There had better some pancakes involved bro, or I'll be pissed." Javier pulled his arms from under the blanket and stuffed them under his head.

"Yeah, sure. Pancakes, syrup, whipped cream…sex." He grinned like a boy, little lines squinting his eyes brightly.

"Sex first then," Javier said wrapping his arms around Kevin and flipping him over. "It sure was nice of Castle to take us to the Hamptons."

"Mm, stop talking." Kevin smiled up at Javier, not noticing the single red rose lying on the balcony's railing.


End file.
